Tired and happy to be at the Top of the Rock. November 2009 260 pounds

 

This is what I used to be. Life was so much harder when I was obese, but I kept my smile and my good attitude through the pain and fear. 

 

 

We were just in time for sunset through a lady's hair

I have to walk down a lot of stairs to get back down there

I walked up them to get up here

My son brought his own camera

We visited the Empire State Building on our last trip and now we have the view of it.

He is as tired as I am. We took the RedEye from San Diego and arrived that morning for an eight day trip.

Thank you random man for insisting on taking this photo. My son can wrap his arms around me twice now that I'm thin and weigh som much less than him.

He thinks I'm getting ready to pass out

He's right.

Resting before the next flight of subway stairs. See this entry for more description of our trip and the diffifulty of New York subways for obese people:

 

 

I have about 1500 photos from this trip to Manhattan. I'm not sure how many are down in the subways, but I think there are quite a few as I had to frequently stop and rest down there. My son did not want to take these photos of me and I insisted. I had to catch my breath anyway. I'm not leaning on that wall as an option. I'm close to passing out and changing the course of the whole trip.

 

Subway stairs are a place I remember that have popping lights in my eyes as I struggle to catch my breath and remember how to lift my leg. It's a place where my son would sometimes go too fast as he pulled and pushed me and sometimes demand me to keep going. It smells. Everyone else is rushing past even though I was too big to stand aside for people. 

 

Something in me made this photo need to be taken. I'm resting my arm on my chest so I can get another little sip of water into my closed off throat. I am so angry through the misery.

 

Angry at ME - the person who cannot climb stairs without help.

 

When I was obese I used to "do things anyway". I tried to work through and around my obesity. I saw New York. I know I had a wonderful trip in many ways. I might just post the whole darn thing one day. Just look at the photos from this fabulous first night. We were both so excited to be there.

 

My son's life used to focus on getting me, his mother, through physical difficulties. He was just on another trip again - worried, but he has seen me fall and struggle back up again many times over the years. 

 

I can show you photos of a ditch in Tucson where he really almost lost me when he was seven years old.

 

Today I remember my obesity as pain and fear and effort beyond what seems possible now. How did I do it at all?

 

When it is hard to get up from bed - it is very hard to climb out of the New York City Subway System.

Tourist Shot - so exhausted. "But we're in New York!"

Light jumping

And later that same night - Times Square!

I don't know him but I love him. He has the happy "I'm in Times Square" look on his face. The fun for me in this place is to see people arrive and realize where they are. It is joy after joy after joy after joy as each new tourist is wowed and thrilled and stunned.

Staggering now. It's Midnight in Times Square. Luckily our hotel is right there.

Another 8 days for this trip.Can you see the swollen glands on each side of my jaw? Yup. I'm pretty much done here.