Phases
2020 -
(ongoing project)
Luckily, I am not amongst the ones who are struck in the worst way by the pandemic: I only need to stay at home. But staying at home can have some extraordinary aspects when you live in a foreign country and you have already been coping with your ideas about the meaning of home. Parallel with these arising questions I also struggle with the "usual" issues of the uncertainty which surrounds us and overshadows our future at the moment. My so-called strategy is to keep on creating to keep me sane and have the illusion of having control over the situation – and to be able to share my thoughts and feelings with others, since we are all connected through one main problem now.
Through my project, I am processing different phases and feelings that I am going through during the course of the lockdown. The contradictory feelings of how much I want to leave but feel safer at my apartment. The will to know more about what’s happening around me, but still escaping to my world from the information overload. The lack of nature. The change of my comfort zone and the fear of the unknown. The anxiety which I feel not knowing when and how I will see my beloved ones again. Even when I am sitting on my sofa at the illusion of full security and comfort inside it just feels like a flood of distress.
This is not the first time I use photography to comfort myself and share my impressions with others who are in the same shoes and I hope it will work again, though it feels like I am looking in the dark sometimes. As I visualize and materialise these scenes it helps me to create a distance with the issues I am coping with, and to influence them.
