I AM NOBODY

--
And I am not sure whether my memories are related to what has actually happened.

Trust me, I tried, but I remain incapable of grasping the past. There’s the same portion of fiction as in any speculation of the future.

“It is crucial to fully experience the moment!” you repeat the mantra, but I am still unmoved and cannot feel a thing…

…unable to embrace and cram it all inside of me; and I cannot light up all that abundance of experiences that others welcome with their hands high up in the sky, while taking selfies with it all at the same time.

They fooled me into believing, but now I am being told that there are far more important topics to discuss.

Have you noticed that some of the things that were hardly plausible yesterday, turned into a norm today and will be reduced to some distant recollections tomorrow?

Collecting of time and underlining its eccentricity only gives value when avoiding the understanding that everything is connected and cannot exist without one another.

Do not waste your breath analyzing the distinction between yesterday and tomorrow because ‘has happened’ and ‘never happened’ sound the same to me.

Unattained aspirations and events that never took place are as vital as anything else that we have experienced, created or shared.

Let the mountain peak conquests remain unconquered for us. I, on the other hand, will make attempts to experience down here what is said to belong up there.

Efforts to preserve myself from sins exhausted me… searching for good and avoiding the pain, celebrating others and praising myself.

I thought I had to choose a side and maintain a position. I drained myself completely with the issues that most likely never existed, to finally feel it All and that the All is One.

--

Text and photos for the magazine "Lamų Slėnis", 2020

www.tadaocern.com

www.instagram.com/tadaocern
www.facebook.com/tadaocern