自我觀察記錄：理性中的非理性
Records of Self-Observations：Irrational Reasoning
Records of Self-Observations：Irrational Reasoning
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Category：Book Design
Client："INVISIBLE"- Exhibition of Editorial Design
Size：20（H）x 14（W）cm
Years：2016
Adviser：板東孝明 Takaaki Bando
Adviser：板東孝明 Takaaki Bando
Designer：陳品丞 Chen Ping-Chen
Photographer：邱子堯 Chiu Tzu-Yao, 董佳斌 Dong Chia-Bin
Photographer：邱子堯 Chiu Tzu-Yao, 董佳斌 Dong Chia-Bin
在2016年底，有一個機會，讓我得以在極少的條件限制下，以「自我」為主題，製作一本「自我觀察記錄」。我使用顯微鏡來觀察我身邊的物品，同時記錄下我的感受，再將之視覺化成為創作。我訂定給自己唯一的規則是：誠實。
我從清晰的目的開始，在渾沌的過程中結束。
在我創作的過程中，我不得不面對極大量的抉擇。我不允許自己以「直覺」來草草帶過每個造型的理由，這迫使我必須不斷地面對自己、質問自己。而當質問累積到了一定的數量，每個人事物便顯得中立、客觀。但同時，也帶來了自我懷疑與無從定義的混亂。
這本書的副標題是：「理性中的非理性」。
短短三個月的製作期，我在每一種相對的詞彙中徘徊，舉棋不定、無所適從。我不斷地推翻自己的設定，甚至到了一種走火入魔的階段。在最後送印前，我又臨時修改了超過八成的設計，讓這本書更「機能」、更「合理」－但問題在於，我根本不想要打任何一張我認為的「安全牌」。也就代表，我費了很大一番功夫，去做我認為沒有必要的調整。
我必須誠實，包含抵抗、厭惡，還有主觀與客觀的取捨，那份希望被接受、被肯定的虛榮，都是我聯結外界時產生的，都是組成「我」的一部分。我希望當「我的自我」被觀看的時候，能夠刺激「觀者的自我」。例如：儘管我相信自己是個獨一無二的個體，但在現階段，我認為我的特別只是表象的反動、只是某種可以被複製的伎倆。因此我扣除掉了至少三分之二原先設定的手工作業，讓它易於被印刷、被複製。你可以解讀為我缺乏自信心、也可以解讀為我相當了解自己，事實上，無論這個作品的哪個細節觸發了你的想像、那都是專屬於你的想像，你對我的解讀，將開始成為「你的一部分」。
簡單地說，這本書可視化了當時某個部份的我，我將之視為探索內在世界的第一步，僅此而已。請自由鑑賞、自由定義。
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Around the end of 2016 I had a chance to craft a “Records of Self-Observations” with barely any limits to feature the “ego.” I observed objects around me with a microscope while recording how I felt, then I created artwork through visualization of observations and feelings. There was only one rule set by myself: honesty
I started with a clear goal in mind, but ended in a progress of chaos.
In the course of creation, I was faced with countless choices. I would not let myself prevaricate about the reasons behind each design with the lazy ambiguity of “intuition,” so I had to constantly confront and interrogate myself. When there were enough interrogations, each person, thing or object appeared to be neutral and objective, yet this induced self-doubt and indefinable chaos rose.
The sub-title of this book is “Irrational Reasoning.”
During the mere three-month production, I wandered among every kind of opposite words and terms, feeling all indecisive and bewildered. I kept toppling my settings to the verge of obsession. Before putting my book in print, I did a last-minute revision to over 80% of the design so the book would be more “functional” and “reasonable.” The problem is, I had absolutely no intention of playing “safe,” which basically means I had put in all the efforts only to make changes I deemed unnecessary.
I had to stay honest. Resistance, aversion, give-and-take of both the objective and the subjective, and that vanity yearning for acceptance and recognition are all components of “myself” that have arisen from my connection with the outer world. I hope “my ego” will inspire the “viewers’ ego” as it is being perceived. For example, though I believe I am a unique individual, at the present I think my uniqueness is a mere reaction to representations, a replicable trick of some sort. So I crossed out at least two-third of the original handiwork, making the product easy to print and replicate. You may interpret this as my lack of confidence, or as an embodiment of my profound self-knowledge. Actually, it does not matter which detail in this work inspired your imagination, because the imagination is exclusively yours, and your interpretation towards me will become a “component of yourself.”
In brief, this book visualizes a part of me at the time, and I consider it the first step to exploring my inner world. It is that simple. Please view and define on your free will.
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