This article was written for Senior Resource Guide Texas and was included in their Caregiver Toolkit.
Caregiver Burnout: What to Do When You Need a Break
If you have a loved one you care for day-in and day-out, you may be one of the many people experiencing caregiver burnout. Most likely, you have other duties and responsibilities outside of providing for your elderly or disabled loved one. You may even be the provider for other family members, such as children, leaving you on the clock 24/7.
This overflow of obligations is a classic recipe for exhaustion and shattered nerves, especially when you tack on the emotional burden of these obligations being something you care deeply about. Many caregivers experience burnout simply because they cherish (and stress over) the well-being of loved ones so much.
When you’re burnt out, you’re not able to provide the same amount of attention and care because, in most cases, you’re completely drained mentally and physically; your glass is empty. And an empty glass has no way of quenching the thirst of those in need. That’s why it’s so important for caregivers to fill their own glass first with self-care and a respite plan.
What is Respite for Dementia Caregivers?
Respite care is a way for those experiencing caregiver burnout to utilize the many services we have here to rest and recharge. As mentioned previously, in being a primary caregiver of an aging, disabled or sick loved one, you may feel like you’re working day and night, seven days a week.
Essentially, you always have to be on guard and ready to respond when needed, preventing you from turning off completely. Respite care gives you consecutive time off, ensuring you can completely switch out of working mode for hours or days at a time. These services provide a caregiver or facility to take your place so that you can completely unplug from your duties.
Studies show that informal and familial caregiving shares strikingly similar characteristics with chronic stress. Both informal caregiving and chronic stress eat at you over a long period of time, having psychological and physical effects that may seem subtle to those not aware. Additionally, other areas of life, such as relationships, hobbies, or work, are also strained in response.
This stress accumulates and may simply turn into your lifestyle. Since taking care of a loved one usually goes unpaid, some providers forget that what they’re doing is actually work. And just like your average 9-5 job, you need to take time away from that work to make it sustainable. As a caregiver, be on the lookout for mental and physical signs of stress and exhaustion and, when spotted, realize it’s time to look into care facilities or in-home respite care in your area.
Kinds of Respite Care
There are several different kinds of respite care you can look into, each serving various purposes depending on the needs of your aging, disabled or sick loved one. But, in choosing your respite plan, it’s essential to think of your own requirements along with the needs of the person in your care. Respite care is to make sure you are also properly taken care of so that you can continue with the great work you’re doing for your loved one. Make sure it counts.
In-home respite care is when you enlist someone to replace you as the provider of your aging loved one in the home. If the person in your care is especially fragile and traveling would be both unhealthy for them and additional stress for you, in-home care is going to be the best option. In-home respite care can come from several sources, including:
- Trusted volunteers, like family members, friends, co-workers, or members of your local church or nonprofit. As long as you have confidence in their abilities to provide care, there’s nothing wrong with reaching out to the people who care about you for help.
- Professional care providers from a company that specializes in traveling or short-term care. A quick search online will bring you several companies that provide in-home respite care in Texas.
- Trained staff that are available for short-term visits from one of your local care homes. You can call around to see if an elderly care home near you has this as an option. They may have one staff member or several that are available for short-term care.
- Skilled health care services from a medical facility that enables highly trained staff to provide short-term care. If your aging loved one needs medical attention that is rather serious, hiring a medically trained care provider may put you more at ease during respite.
- Homemaker services from a company specializing in preparing meals, cleaning, and running errands. If the person in your care is fairly independent and someone just needs to be in the vicinity in case something goes awry, this is a viable option.
The great thing about in-home respite care is that it’s quite flexible. You could use these services for a weeklong vacation or just for some needed help for a few hours or throughout one day. Respite care doesn’t always mean you have to do a 180° and book a flight to Bora Bora. Sometimes, you just need some help in the home while you take the time to catch up on your to-do list, spend time in the garden, or kick your heels up in the comfort of your living room.
Out-of-home respite care is when you take your aging loved one out of the home and into a different space for care. Out-of-home care may be overwhelming for some people, but for others, it’s a way to add excitement, new experiences, and the chance to meet others. Getting out of the usual routine every once and a while is a healthy option for many. Out-of-home care can be:
- Specialized residential centers like group care homes, hospitals, and nursing homes offer short-term care options in the name of respite care. Find these facilities in your area and call or check their websites to see if they would be a good fit.
- Adult daycares, which are developed specifically for adult seniors who need care. As you might guess, this option is best suited for respite plans that only occur during the day. Adult day centers are a great way to provide more social interaction for your loved one as well, as there will often be planned group activities in a safe and joyful environment.
- Respite retreats and camps, which are fun getaways for you and your aging loved one that promotes healing and revitalization. Search online for non-profits and organizations that provide respite retreats to plan a vacation for you both to refuel together.
Out-of-home respite care is a wonderful way to incorporate the outside world into your loved one’s life again. Needing constant monitoring and care can be quite isolating. An outing in nature or with people they don’t usually talk to is an excellent way to expand their sense of self and overall well-being.
Typical Costs Involved with Respite Care
Unfortunately, there’s no “one size fits all” for respite care, and that goes for the costs involved, too. Overall, research in the industry pin day-long care, such as adult daycares, as the most affordable, with a national average of $74 per day. In-home assisted living would come next as the most affordable option.
Then again, if you only need help keeping up with household duties and preparing meals, looking into homemaker services is also on the affordable end of things since they won’t be responsible for all of the care. And, of course, asking a family member or friend to be a caretaker can range on the price scale and may even be free of charge in some circumstances.
You may also be wondering, will my insurance cover respite care? Unfortunately, medical insurance in the U.S. doesn’t cover respite care outright, but you still have options to subsidize the cost depending on your situation. Some long-term care policies and veteran programs may reduce your overhead by reimbursing you for the cost of care, whether in the home or out. Also, Medicare policies include respite if your loved one qualifies for hospice care.
Potential Obstacles of Caregiver Burnout
The first obstacle you should expect when seeking respite care is the feelings of guilt that may arise. Like the cherished loved one in your care, you’re a human being that needs tender loving care to survive. And only you can know when you need respite, so don’t depend on family and friends to tell you when the time is right. In many cases, they won’t understand the importance of a much-needed break until they’re in the shoes of a primary caregiver.
There are people who do understand and relate to what you’re going through as a primary caregiver, though. Caregiver support groups are an excellent way to connect with people who also carry the heavy responsibility of caring for another human life. Talking with other caregivers about what you’re going through will help you feel less alone and inspire you to tackle things that you’re struggling with. One can easily find online support groups as well as in-person support groups that meet in your local area.
You may also find yourself worrying about the care provided during respite, knowing that it won’t be as good as the care you give. It may be worthwhile to enlist the help of a family member, friend, or the person under care himself to check in with you while you’re away. All in all, paid services may not be as deeply invested in the care as you are, and that’s okay.
