I don't know why (which is part of the reason it is frustrating to me) I have this looming burden over me that forces me to feel that every little thing I make needs to have purpose and be significant. I know that it is illogical and impractical, and I also know that not everything I end up making has much purpose of significance in the end, but this really gets in the way of choosing subjects to draw, especially when I am told to draw twenty objects or animals. Even worse when it's "anything you want."

 

I stress about it too much and it takes way too long to get around to actually drawing something. In class we are told that it "literally doesn't matter" what we draw or what we choose, it's just homework. I still have a lot of trouble remembering that and in times I have tried, I've had these exact thoughts just trying to do sketches for my homework:

- "Who is going to see this?"

- "Should I make this a gift?"

- "Is this going to be impressive or is this piece is going to define me and follow me around if it's bad?"

- "Where am I going to hang this in my house when I finish it?"

 

Obviously I'm dealing with some other issues unrelated to art here as well, haha.

 

Anyway, I'll spend hours trying to find the perfect subject and something that means I spend all of my time digging through inspiration saying, "No, that's not good enough," and end up with nothing at all. That is particularly disappointing and frustrating because I spent actual time and energy trying to find the right thing and I still only have as much produced to show and someone who neglected to do the assignment completely.

 

Okay, introspective rant over. I'm working on it!