As finals week comes to an end, so does my last semester at Truman State University. No, I haven't graduated, but I am transferring to UMKC. I hurriedly gathered up the contents of my half of the house and shoved it all in the back of a Uhaul tonight and ran away back to Kansas City. This semester's close is also the close of my art education. I've faced a variety of challenges since I began college three years ago and it happens to be that the ways that I grew to get through it has led me away from graphic design and Truman. Even though I tried really hard, it just didn't work out for me because I don't love it enough to make a career out of it. So off I go, in a whole new direction: Environmental Studies.
Lots and lots and lots of changes happening right now, but I do think that these changes will be good for me. This illustration class has given me the opportunity to grow creatively in a direction that is my own. I'm not sure how to describe it, but I've started to notice habits in my illustrations that in a way remind me of the way you recognize your own handwriting. This is something I'm so glad that I finally saw because it made me feel like I have made progress as an artist and that I've developed a sense of style that my mind sees and my hand makes without me even thinking about it. It feels more personal - and I've realized that's what art needs to be for me now. And that's okay. At the beginning of the semester, the sudden workload and short deadlines scared the crap out of me, to be honest. I was worried that I wasn't going to make it through. I've practiced and I've now made things that I am proud to share with people and that I am impressed by. That's a really good feeling.
Things I've learned:
- I hate gouache. I was so sure that I would love it before I started using it, and I always end up overworking the painting too much and then the colors disappear. That leaves me with splotchy blank areas, even if I try to add more to even it out. Basically, I touch it too much and it all goes away.
- I love watercolor! I feel in control when I layer, mix, and soften the colors together. The longer I touch it, the better the detail gets, which is a perfect thing for me. I'm super impressed by my Stargazer Lily and finally feeling proud of myself - my capabilities, talent, control, detail - really is wonderful.
- Because we had to keep a blog, I had to scan a copy of every piece. This quickly became a habit, and I'm very glad that I now require having a digital copy of anything I do. I couldn't tell you how many times I've lost or damaged the original copy in the past. I like it because I can keep things organized! I'm very glad that I took this class in my last semester. I honestly feel confident that I can keep up with illustrations like these in my free time by doing art that I want to do for myself. I still love art and design, and probably will forever, but I think now that I will feel more fulfilled personally if I keep it as a hobby and at my own pace. And that's okay.
