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About

This was an assignment for my Photo Foundations class. We were told to do a self portrait series of 15-20 images. I decided I'd be honest with my… Read More
This was an assignment for my Photo Foundations class. We were told to do a self portrait series of 15-20 images. I decided I'd be honest with myself and do something very personal about issues I've been hiding. I think doing this has somewhat helped me see my issues from an outside point of view, and helped me understand myself better. Read Less
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insecurity

...is how it all started. self concious and with low self esteem, i'd compare myself to others and began to hate how i looked.
self perception

i was bound to my own image of myself.
mass neurosis

i became obsessed with my weight (often weighing myself up to 10x a day).
magnitute neurosis

naturally, I became obsessed with my size as well, and measured myself often.
control

self explanatory I suppose...my obsession with weight and size caused me to be very careful of what I ate...and if I did eat something I wasn't happy about, I'd either starve myself the next day or purge right after.
anorexia/bulimia

i was mostly bulimic, but had anorexic tendencies. this is my perception of the eating disorders...
i basically felt that whatever I ate (even if it was fruit or vegetables) would somehow ruin my body and make me gain weight. i would hate myself every time I ate.
shame

i wasn't so much an alcoholic, but i will admit i used alcohol often to make myself feel better, detach myself from reality, forget what was going on, be someone else for a night, feel different, etc... even though it would always leave me regretful the next day.
regrets

we all have regrets. i had mine, they weighed me down and made me feel dirty and worthless, but I've learned to let go of some things and "wash away" my regrets and shame.
saved

...from myself.
self worth

fuck labels, I'm who I am and I try not to let anyone hide my true self.
la dolce vita

without my friends and family, i wouldn't be who I am today. i am happiest with my friends, and I can be myself around them.
lost

i hold an American passport and am considered an American citizen. the only time I've lived in the US was during my year spent at Savannah College of Art & Design. I can't relate with most Americans and don't feel at home there. (which is why I moved to Australia)
wayang (indonesian puppet)

i feel more Indonesian than American, even if I don't look or act like it, and I love Indonesia for both it's traditional culture and modern culture.
memories

they are a part of me, i won't forget the bad times and memories, but i have come to terms with them and know that they have made me who I am today.