How the subject of men crying is viewed varies from culture to culture across the globe. Amongst African men, (Bantu to be specific) there is a social stigma towards the concept of a grown man crying, and we are raised with a 'boys don't cry' perspective towards the concept of masculinity. This is rock-hard alpha-male concept is explicitly more present in my Xhosa/ Hlubi culture where rites of passage into manhood exist, and there are unwritten codes as to how a man should conduct himself, and also expect to conduct himself.

 

A grown man crying is stigmatic as this is associated with being soft and considered to be somewhat of not a very masculine thing to do.

Thus the concept of an African alpha male who is immune to pain be it (physically or emotionally) is often reinforced as the epitome of masculinity from an African perspective.

 

The sight of a grown African man crying always breaks me apart inside, as it  makes me  feel the pain of a man who could not hold in the pain any longer and has succumbed to the explosive effect of tears and letting it all out despite the stigma attached to it. It takes a lot for an African man to to cry, as we grow up with the saying "indoda ikhalela ngaphakathi" , meaning that a man takes the pain inside and bottles it without ever shedding a tear. One of these instances is seeing Archbishop Desmond Tutu cry in the TRC (Truth and Reconciliation Commission) footage  with him just looking down and holding his head.

 

The illustration aims to give insight into the African males view of masculinity, and expression of pain. The image I chose to use for the the illustration was the first photo I took after having gone through my rite of passage into manhood. The photo is somewhat iconic to me.