Exhibited at “Mirror of the Open Road" at Wilding Festival, London.
June 12 2013 - June 16 2013.
A collaborative project with Deshna Mehta
Curated by Gail Mcleod, Akhila Krishnan and Rachael Perrin
We've had the opportunity to speak with four Indian women as they go about performing several quintessential roles of a daughter, a wife, a mother and many such smaller roles involved within each of these. From primarily inculcating moral and cultural values to being dismissed without thought for lack of knowledge, the Indian woman is a tale in herself.
As observers, onlookers, interviewers and interpreters, we'd like to explore the substructures of 'dependency - judgement - freedom' that form the sub-conscious undercurrents of the lives of women in India. We hope to trigger conscious thoughts to acknowledge these understated yet omnipresent dependencies which facilitate or hinder the freedom in our existence.
We believe that the awareness and acceptance of these dependencies (which very often pass away in ones lifetime without conscious discernment) is an essential step in carving ones way to freedom. This is just a start and we hope to speak to many more to allow this consciousness to surface.
Yours Sincerely,
Deshna Mehta & Pavithra Dikshit
www.towhomsoeverthismayconcern.com
As observers, onlookers, interviewers and interpreters, we'd like to explore the substructures of 'dependency - judgement - freedom' that form the sub-conscious undercurrents of the lives of women in India. We hope to trigger conscious thoughts to acknowledge these understated yet omnipresent dependencies which facilitate or hinder the freedom in our existence.
We believe that the awareness and acceptance of these dependencies (which very often pass away in ones lifetime without conscious discernment) is an essential step in carving ones way to freedom. This is just a start and we hope to speak to many more to allow this consciousness to surface.
Yours Sincerely,
Deshna Mehta & Pavithra Dikshit
www.towhomsoeverthismayconcern.com
~ Pictures From The Exhibition ~
Photo credits: Akhila Krishnan
Photo credits: Akhila Krishnan
~ The Stories ~
Being a single mother who works full time can be stressful. She has the benefit of her own mother being around to raise her now six-year old son. Her dependency on her mother seems evident, for she admits how helpless she’d feel in her absence. ‘I don’t know what I’d do without her.’ Unaware of the consequences, she chose to marry a man suffering from a bi-polar disorder (a mental illness marked by alternating periods of elation and depression) after having fallen in love with him. Living abroad in an abusive relationship with him, she has fought battles with herself, society and the legal system to stand where she is today. Despite having walked out of her marriage to start a new life back in her childhood home, divorce proceedings and court errands make occasional appearances in her life even today. Without her son, her life has little meaning. In the midst of all of this, she strives for inner happiness and hopes to reach there soon. She figured out her husband was bi-polar and began reading forums on it. From all of it, the one line that impacted her the most was, ‘If you feel the person is bipolar or abusive take your child and just leave. They’re never going to change.’ This gave her enough courage to prompt her to walk out of her marriage. From then on her life has been so much better.
Nothing ever happened in my childhood that made me sad. That’s how fondly she remembers the early days of her life which she re-created for her own children. A mother of three kids, now 24, 23 and 16; she feels she could have achieved a lot more in life. But this thought never crossed her mind until recently. She was very content and found her happiness from her life that revolved around home, her husband and her children. Her daughter fell in love with a foreigner. Her initial reaction to this love story was betrayal. But reason ruled her. Her inner conviction and the respect she bore for her daughters’ choices and happiness drove her to convince an orthodox household to fulfill her daughters dream of marrying a man of her own choice. She was instrumental in making the wedding a grand celebration. Her daughter, her chief source of happiness, who married the foreigner has now left home. ‘For the rest of her life she is only going to come as a guest and her life with us is over. I can’t believe this and sometimes when I think about it, it really makes me cry.’
Having spent her childhood in deriving happiness from watching the stars and the moon, staring at the sun and speaking to plants, she is now the mother of two. Her younger daughter is 15 years old and the older one is 18. After having been the youngest child amongst four brothers and sisters, pampered with luxuries, she was married into an economically modest but very morally-driven household at the age of 27. Adapting to the more new ways of life post marriage, ‘When he would raise his voice, maybe tears flew out, but then it was okay. I would let go and then start again.’ Very content and accepting of what life has had to offer her, she continues her practice as an interior designer. Her motivation to work is to not deprive charity. She expresses that she has no fears and has surrendered her life into divine hands and has instilled this faith in her children. Her dependency now is the divine. Life has not spared her from trials and tribulations, however her attitude has. She gives a lot of credit to her six year long tryst with karate which she believes has played a significant role in giving her immense amounts of inner strength.
After marrying a man of her parents choice at the of 17, she landed up in a household abounding with hardships, not any different from her own parents house. ‘The room was so small that there wasn’t enough place for us to sleep. So I would make a swing out of a saree and suspend it between two walls and make my daughter sleep. There was no place at all. ‘A husband turned into an alcoholic would find any possible excuse to beat them up; not even sparing their one month old child. One night her neighbours found her battered and abused and took her to the police station to save her from her husband’s assaults. Her mother and brother now provide shelter to her and her children (aged 15 and 8) accommodating them on the roof of the attic in their very diminutive home. Of her 3 children, her oldest daughter turned 19 recently and left home after having married a man from another community, completely against the wishes of the family. She has cut off all communication with her but really misses her presence. Except a couple of utensils, she has nothing that she can call her own. She has never known what it is like to be happy and wishes that her children do not have the same fate as hers.
~ The Making ~
The virtual version of our exhibit is available to view at - www.towhomsoeverthismayconcern.com
Deshna and I would love to know your views and opinions. We would also love to know if you have stories to share. Do drop in a word to us and we will get back to you!
Much Love.
