La Petite Mort 2019
Oil on Canvas
Georges Batille's book, a study on the human inside of Erotica (eroticism), fascinated and impressed me profoundly. Understanding his philosophy of eroticism was as if desiring a deep calm before reaching a certain point. A tickling sensation began and my heart pounded and I didn't want to lose my focus until I felt the ecstasy of knowledge.
Man sins against God. Successive Creator beings(God) are born as discontinuous beings that live this life as human beings. God gave us free will, and so we do as much as we want. Because we are humans, we give ourselves taboos. Social rules exist in the name of morality and culture. There are a lot of other restrictions for us as we follow these rules.
Now, it will be easier to understand this philosophy of Eroticism that I am trying to explain if you imagine the process of asexual reproduction. We are born “discontinuous” at the moment of the death of our mother and father’s micro entities. That moment is the experience of nostalgia of continuity. The mother's egg and the father's sperm fusing together is the death of their separate existence and the birth of a new being which is the essence of eroticism. Asexual creatures die while avoiding death.The expansion of the cell ends with creative death and the continuity of new beings begins at its end point.
Those who have experienced seizure continuity (orgasm, ecstasy) will understand that at that very moment, we do not exist in this world but have briefly crossed the boundaries of another world. The call of God, the exchange with God brought our spirit to ecstasy chaos, and we all had a mixed experience of this spirit.
My ‘La Petite Mort’ visualizes this interesting philosophy of Georges Bataille. I believe that I have never seen or experienced anything like he described.
At first I thought of eroticism as a feeling of excitement, writhing in nudity and pornography, etc. My photography, where I explored my body around color, texture, and composition, was described as "eroticism" by many people. I was told that the viewers felt sexual arousement in the exhibition. I questioned,”Why do people become aroused by other women’s nudity? What makes nudity a sexual form? What arouses people sexually? Why the incest pornography is the most popular concept in porn website? What is the definition of attractiveness? Where does fetishism come from? And who defined the censorship and taboo in sex in this society?”
All these deeply fascinating questions to the world and humans keep me to research about pornography, erotica, rape, patriarchy, feminism, sex, christianity, politics, culture, etc. I love to see a good looking, well-shaped body. If a person who has great looking walks in the street, most of the people in the street will be aware of her or his steps. It is what I call the power of the sexy and I believe that exists. If you show two lions having sex in the screen to other lion, they won’t get horny as humans get horny when they see other people having sex and even hear only the sound. We hide our body in the clothes and we have an intimate moment indoors where that is secure. Why humans have sex other than the purpose of reproduction? What about the eroticism in humans affects these phenomenon?
Sexual activities, images, and imagination lead us to stay in that moment. In Pushkin’s poem, “...On the day of dismay, resign yourself: Believe a day of merriment will come. The heart lives in the future; The present is dismal; All things are momentary, all things will pass; What will pass will be nice.” We are, again, discontinuous entities and the moment of eroticism allow us to feel the nostalgia of continuity.
In ‘La Petite Mort’, you can have questions to yourself: Where is the starting point and the ending point in the piece? What do you see, feel, and remind you of when you look at the piece, standing in front of the small death in the dark, feeling the inner interaction between you and the piece? As there won’t be darkness without light, there won’t be life without death. My study in Eroticism explores various ways of visualization and I have so much passion for this journey.