5 Easy Rules of Effective Conversation
Always at the back of the class when the teacher calls for a group discussion? Left behind in a group debate? Keep imagining the cute guy next door but dont have the courage to walk up and ask him out? Looking to be a part of office jokes but no one hears you out?
Well, worry no more as 57% of people lack effective communication skills! That's nearly half the world population!
Here 5 rules to keep you off the edge and have a great conversation in any context!
(1) Your Patient Ear
Yes, you heard right. More often than not people have such pressing opinions that they keep on bombarding the other not paying heed to the one they are conversing too. A conversation is a two way street, else it is a lecture. When I say two way, both parties benefit from it. So, to make a point, actually the relevant point, lend a patient ear first.
Listening strengthens your conversation, because one, you gain the confidence of the other person, and two, you get to build up your ideas clearly in your mind while the other speaks.
(2) Urge the Speaker without Saying Anything
All of us believe that the more you speak the more you are popular right? Ermm No! Remember that stubborn date your girlfriend got to one of your night outs who wouldn't just shut up about Obama and his inconsistencies? Yawn and How! Wrong place, wrong time.
Use Verbals nods to steer the speaker in the direction you want the conversation to go. Like simple “Hmm”, “Uh Huh” or “True” are verbal nods that give the speaker a sense you are listening. You don't have to say sentences, just nodding words to be a part of the conversation while patiently hearing the other out. Well, for the stubborn guy give him no nods, just blank faces to give him the cue to Shut Up!
An effective way of announcing you are retrospecting and will speak next is to take off your designer glasses and clean them, this attracts attention instantly!
(3) Educate Yourself than Educating Others
“A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies” Jojen. What a simple but profound thought. A book can take you to different experiences and open your mind to perspectives. Reading helps you accept the different views of people. Not to forget, the education it brings you. It cements your knowledge about certain pressing issues, making you more confident in conversations because remember its a two way street, and everyone likes a little learning.
See, the placebo effect- one idea passes to the other, then the other passes to the latter and so on. That is how conversations essentially take place, you use knowledge to build other opinions and influence.
You experience something good, you want to pass it on, like shopping for instance- you realised shopping for glasses online is cheaper than shopping at a store, you pass it on right?
(4) Your Body Speaks Volumes
Hell Yeah! Nonverbal communication makes up 95% of the communication pie chart and verbal language only 5%. Unbelievable right, well that is true. So while you are focussing on increasing your vocab and learning new things, your body language is communicating most of the times.
Your posture, dressing sense and gestures all strengthen your art of communication. Imagine a shabbily dressed guy, wearing red pants with a yellow tee, with dishevelled hair and torn shoes, comes up to your first day class at school and announces to be your mentor! Won't buy it right?
While you browse through videos online check out some famous speakers and how they command the crowd. The right intonation of tone, correct stress on words and posture. All of them are crisply dressed and definitely do not sound like Ok Google!
(5) Is it Necessary?
Before you speak, ask yourself- Is it the Truth, Is it Necessary and Is it Kind?- Gautam Buddha. Taking this spiritual quote on conversation, when we say the truth- is gauging if the facts you will state are correct? Like the Bruce Lee death conspiracy, did he take a bad pill or a Ku Klux killed him?
Is it Necessary? Some banter can be left unsaid in your head, will the point you will be making be beneficial to the conversation, else verbal nods are enough.
Is it Kind? Well, sometimes conversations can get heated with everyone pooling their opinion, but isn't it important to not slay others and be kind, does not mean give a feeble opinion, but legitimate details in a soft tone makes sense than the angry being always right air.
So, you readers we hope you stop talking to yourself and start talking to others!
