186 days – drawing diary

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186 days

I have a vivid memory of some sunny afternoon and 7-year-old myself, sitting at an old desk with lacquered top, earnestly trying to draw like Disney. Of course, once again, I did not succeed, and threw the notebook at the wall with resentment.

Although it happened so long ago, the memory is so vivid because drawing is still what I do and similar situations happen to me at regular basis. Now creating the Little Mermaid on paper is no longer a problem for me, but over the years my expectations of myself have grown. I have practiced different styles of drawing so long and so successfully that I stopped to remember how I draw when I do not practice.
I felt a bit like some of the women who dye their hair for years and finally forget what was their natural color. I do not know how they feel with this discovery, but in my case it was not a nice one.

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Bestiary

What I want to present here is the result of the first breakthrough, which took place last year. It is a kind of diary kept for 186 days from October 2015, drawn as I like the most - in black and white, which is my return to myself and my own private space.

There are boomerang thoughts, not giving me peace, fragments of dreams and ideas, characters from movies, books and animation, watched at any given moment, old and recent memories, even creatures from the depths of the Internet, which is for me a never-ending source of admiration. There are even a few things I did not have to think of to have them in my mind, because they were born somewhere in my imagination by themselves and then jumped into my drawing board without asking for my permission.

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I am

Fairytales

Abundance of characters perfectly captures the disturbing thoughts that always prevailed in my head and sometimes deprive me of sleep. Each of them has its own unique history. Unfortunately, it is impossible to tell them all. However, I would not be myself if I did not try to sort this mess. That is why each work has been bearing some initial thought, to which I have tried to hold on. More or less.

I am was the first to be created - those were some winter reflections on identity and existence itself.
The second is Fairy Tales – much calmer return to my roots, where the world of old fairy tales and new ideas is my safe haven, where rules are guarded by the eternal Ouroboros, swallowing its own tail.

The last one – Bestiary is welcoming spring with energy and a bit of optimism.

Original size (each): 50x70 cm

Fairytales have been shown at the collective exhibition of young graphic artists MOŻNA during the Night of the Museums in Warsaw, Palace of Wilanów, Poland (2016)