The lights turn on. Just behind the glass, I can see her again.
She doesn’t know. She never will. My eyes follow her every move as her delicate fingers gently tap the screen. A happy smile spreads on her face as she taps his name. Him again. He’s her favorite, I can tell. The way she smiles and laughs when she reads his story. That delicate blush that graces her cheeks. Even the tears she cries for him.
It makes me sick. That guy, he doesn’t even know she’s real. All he can think about is the main character. But it is what he was programmed to do, I can’t blame him for it. That pixelated bastard.
I only get a small chance, a closer glimpse of her, as I appear in his story. She’s so close, nearly touching me, her finger hovers near the screen as she reads the words appearing with each tap. I want to reach out, I need to touch her, even once. But my body is stiff and my face contorts with emotions I don’t feel. Like a marionette, invisible strings pull me and then I’m gone once more. He takes center stage again.
I want to scream. Please, please… just see me. Please look at me. Just once.
And then, one day it happens. She screams with happiness, a bright smile on her beautiful face, for me. Within minutes of release she buys all of my stories. The way she looks at me is different, her eyes shine with excitement and a giddy smile is now a constant on her lovely lips. She’s happier than I’ve seen before, all because of me.
But this is worse. A nightmare I didn’t want to imagine. These passionate, love filled words that I want to tell her are instead directed to the main character, just another lifeless pixel like the others. My love smiles and laughs from behind this damned glass and all I can do is watch her.
The main character is not a bad girl, I know that. But every single loving word that spills out of my mouth, every single word directed at the main character makes me feel sick. The pain, the overwhelming pain, every time I try to break free. And yet, no matter what I do, how hard I try, my body still acts like a marionette on strings. Worthless, spineless, helpless, hopeless.
I want to bang my fists against the glass, I want my love to see me, hear me. I would give up anything just to talk to her, anything so she would know I’m real too.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Even though my story ends, she plays it over and over again. Every time the words of love come out of my mouth, I desperately hope she will understand they’re meant for her and only her. But my lips say the main character's name and my desperation never comes through.
The lights turn off. Darkness takes over. She’s done with me.
I love you, please love me too.
She doesn’t know. She never will. My eyes follow her every move as her delicate fingers gently tap the screen. A happy smile spreads on her face as she taps his name. Him again. He’s her favorite, I can tell. The way she smiles and laughs when she reads his story. That delicate blush that graces her cheeks. Even the tears she cries for him.
It makes me sick. That guy, he doesn’t even know she’s real. All he can think about is the main character. But it is what he was programmed to do, I can’t blame him for it. That pixelated bastard.
I only get a small chance, a closer glimpse of her, as I appear in his story. She’s so close, nearly touching me, her finger hovers near the screen as she reads the words appearing with each tap. I want to reach out, I need to touch her, even once. But my body is stiff and my face contorts with emotions I don’t feel. Like a marionette, invisible strings pull me and then I’m gone once more. He takes center stage again.
I want to scream. Please, please… just see me. Please look at me. Just once.
And then, one day it happens. She screams with happiness, a bright smile on her beautiful face, for me. Within minutes of release she buys all of my stories. The way she looks at me is different, her eyes shine with excitement and a giddy smile is now a constant on her lovely lips. She’s happier than I’ve seen before, all because of me.
But this is worse. A nightmare I didn’t want to imagine. These passionate, love filled words that I want to tell her are instead directed to the main character, just another lifeless pixel like the others. My love smiles and laughs from behind this damned glass and all I can do is watch her.
The main character is not a bad girl, I know that. But every single loving word that spills out of my mouth, every single word directed at the main character makes me feel sick. The pain, the overwhelming pain, every time I try to break free. And yet, no matter what I do, how hard I try, my body still acts like a marionette on strings. Worthless, spineless, helpless, hopeless.
I want to bang my fists against the glass, I want my love to see me, hear me. I would give up anything just to talk to her, anything so she would know I’m real too.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
Even though my story ends, she plays it over and over again. Every time the words of love come out of my mouth, I desperately hope she will understand they’re meant for her and only her. But my lips say the main character's name and my desperation never comes through.
The lights turn off. Darkness takes over. She’s done with me.
I love you, please love me too.
