Red, White, and Blue
Gouache Self-Portrait
2015
20" X 16"
20" X 16"
Gouache on Illustration Board
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As a first generation American, I grew up with a conflict of cultures. In recent years, I have realized how lucky I am to belong to two different worlds and how good it feels to embrace a heritage my childhood environment had taught me to hate. For me, the colors red, white, and blue strike a strong familiarity as a symbol of American national pride; I often forget that they, too, are the colors of my Taiwanese flag. I have since avoided the damaging compartmentalization of the two cultures and have attempted to repair the divide. As a Taurus in one culture and an ox in another's zodiac, so much conflict had been bred from what was just one identical form. After years of ethnic shame, the fabric of my Hakka people and the Taoist religion of my grandparents have finally found its place in my life along with the lilies of the valley outside my home in Massachusetts. I have never felt as if I really belonged to a country; nor have I felt that any country was ever mine to claim. I don't think I will ever feel that way; however, Hakka literally translates to "guest people" and I have found my place as a guest.
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