I’m writing this half drunk
At a concert I could exchange
to a boring conversation on messenger
In the toilet I ask every girl
Who’s waiting at the que
If there is love

They all say yes and smile
And hug me
They probably think I broke up with my boyfriend
But there ain’t no boyfriend
and there ain’t no love
five glasses of vodka
killed all my muses
what was God thinking when he made alcohol

                     *

 19:34
19:35
19:36
19:37
19:38
19:39
I never knew a cigarette could last so long

                    **

 The party's over and counting threads of hair
seems so much fun
on winters you used to fall asleep
in my sweater
but now's summer and i don't have
sweaters anymore
whose clothes are you wearing today
not mine ,i guess
but that's fine,the threads of hair i'm counting
are not yours either

                  ***
      
 The body is heavy
carrying things you ve done wrong
words you didn't say
men you didn't have
cigarettes we shared
places where we've been
Where we didn't
I'll become
The fat lady who ate all the memories
A fat lady on a random train
Who stopped you from going
To a random toilet
And you'll never know that was me
Taking a train back home

                ****

 This sunday is different.
there are no earthquakes
no deaths to mourn
no e mails to be read.
ignore the phone
say no to a bad movie
say no to an old love story
accept the noisy neighbours
sign in,write an interesting status
wait for something to happen
nothing happens
say hello to a classmate
say goodbye to a lover who wrote
i miss y
while you were signing out

              *****

 Don't fall in love with writers
they keep their feelings
for poems
Don't fall in love with painters
they keep their love
for colours
Don't fall in love with musicians
they make love
with sounds
don't fall in love with mathematicians
they love problems
don't fall in love with regular beings
their love is plain
don't fall in love.

             ******

 I get out of bed sometimes and i look outside the window
there's always this rush
people who read magazines
people who smoke
who cross the street
who drive someone else's cars
people.nothing less,nothing more
and there's,of course,always someone ringing
asking me something
just like there is always someone leaving
while i have a shower
you don't know exactly who you are
since there's so much coming and going
but it would be weird to stop for a second
and ask where the dreams have gone
was it when i got drunk that night
or when i bought the glittering dress
is it that i lost them in every person
i touched
oh,i hope not.i barely know their names
so this is it.you wake up one morning
and the only thing you know about yourself
is someone else's name

                *******

 we re kissing.it's the first snow
it's morning and i'm with V who thinks
i know nothing about chemistry
or about the male genital organ
i smile behind his back
i'll be home in three days
wrapping meet with mum on the hallway
what's the use of feelings.
we'll forget almost everything by tomorrow
i'll still be"alexa university"from agenda
-even after we'll finish the university
it's really sad,dear V
people do not leave on earth
more than traces of winter snow

                 ********

Hello,Bucharest
It’s been a week
Since I wake up with empty bottles
All kind of things around me
naps
Phones
people
I ‘m running late today
Just to listen to conversations at the subway
When I come back home
I think I see you in every guy
Who s looking at what I read
I know you like words
They give you the feeling that
You understand something of me
When it’s crowded
I’m sure you’re somewhere in a corner
And you’re looking at me ,smiling
Maybe you know I dreamed of you
I blush until the next station
The subway is crowded enough
To realise there are no
Guys who smile
Because there are no corners
people are stressed
They think of meetings,cars,models
No one asks you how are you feeling
But there will always be someone who asks you
What’s the time

                            *********

 Look at those ladies,they all know what they want from life
They know what life is
When to open their legs,To Whom
How to match a red blouse and a bitten lip
How to fix your hair,not how to fix things
How to open the doors from an x5,not how to open the books at 7 a clock in the morning
They know!
They don t need paintors,sculptors or writers to be happy
You in your second hand jeans want to understand
What’s the deal with the renaissance
You don’t dance for the rich guy near the bar
You don’t love for clothes and cars
You don t want men just for a night
Those women buy soap with the price of your clothes
You,in your zara boots for which you ve eaten bread and milk three weeks
with what right do you come here
Was this poem worth two hundred forty minutes spent there?

                                 **********

 Erase the hands from the hair
the lips from the skin
the shirt from the bed
the name from the lips

Erase every star counted that night
every stranger you saw and thought it was
me
erase every line written for us
and there ll be no book
no people
no stars
find an eraser,baby
and i ll find someone else

                       ***********

 the words are written
and you still feel like
not much has been said
and you still feel
empty
                    ***********

 these people we ll become
they have ideal jobs
cars
wives
conversations
lunches
kids
us,drunk,
looking at the stars and thinking of
how we will grow old
made these regular future
seem special

                   ************

 My name is Gill Johnes
i have a neighbour who loves me
he's collecting butterflies in jam jars
blue eyes and skinny hands
never seen him talk to someone
doesn't like people
always gives me that look
like wings have grown
on my back
i chose a name for him
maybe he did the same with me
thought i m some Eveline
married him once in a dream
he touched my hand when
throwing the garbage
i can not be with you,andrew
you close in a jar everything you love
at this life.

                    *************

 the hand is trying to grab more
than this cup of tea
the eyes are trying to see more
than doors slamming
the heart is trying to feel more
than what it is
a cup of tea empty.
while you re leaving me
i realized i don't like tea

                *************

 in this world where i live people don't get old
don't forget,don't love,don't learn
they wear other clothes,as if the retina would react
to colours
but it's fine,who needs people
we just need cigarettes

There ain't no love
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There ain't no love

just read it.
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