How Edmond Okolo opened our eyes/Part II 10/9/2013
Well it’s been almost 2 years since I shared Edmond’s story with those of you who have taken the time to read it.
I left off with plans to take Edmond to Houston to visit his family he had not seen in 25 years, we made the trip and I cannot say whether it was a good or bad experience on Edmond’s part.
A few weeks prior to us leaving for this reunion in Houston I had tried to give Edmond some advice as to what he should or should not expect.
Edmond was raised in South Africa until he was a young man and retained all of the cultural values and expectations of a husband/father of South Africa. In the time I have known Edmond it has become very clear to me that those traditions and family structures are a little different from what we as Americans are used to.
As Edmond has explained it to me, the family structure revolves around the husband/father of the home. Similar to the American family, but from my conversations with Edmond it seems that there is a much stronger authority expected and given to the husband/father, whereas in the US, we tend to lean more toward the equal authority position for husbands and wives.
I tried to warn Edmond that there would probably be some anger and resentment from his wife, but especially his 2 daughters, for not keeping in contact with them over the past 25 years, and not to mention they had presumed as of the last couple of years he may be dead. Edmond agreed with my warning and seemed to understand. The advice I gave him was to “act like a doormat and be thankful they would wipe their feet on you” he didn’t seem to like that analogy, but understood the concept behind it and agreed.
From the time we decided to take Edmond to Houston to the day we left, Edmond had saved every bit of money he could, and several of us had given him pocket money so that as the husband/father he might be able to take his family to dinner a movie, or just be able to buy them some late Christmas gifts.
As always Edmond was reluctant to accept the money but was grateful and thankful when we would not take it back.
The day we arrived at the airport to go to Houston Edmond was anxious, worried, and not feeling very well physically. By this time Edmond was starting to feel the progression of his cancer and had good days and bad days. He had started a regimen of drinking small, but increasing amounts of food grade hydrogen peroxide as a treatment, recommended by a friend who had done the same. Edmond knew of no other options and was desperate to try anything that would slow down or stop the cancer. The AHCCCS health care that he had received did not cover much, and certainly did not cover any aggressive treatment such as chemo therapy, which is what all of the doctors had recommended to either stop or at the least slow down the cancer. Edmond carried his small vial of hydrogen peroxide with him everywhere he went and watched the clock to be sure he did not miss a dose, although he said it tasted horrible and upset his stomach.
When we got ready to head to the gate where we would board the plane I warned Edmond of the TSA restrictions and asked him if he had anything they would restrict. He said he didn’t think he had anything they wouldn’t let through. I told him of the restrictions for liquids such as shampoo, conditioner, etc. he then informed me that he had a family sized bottle of shampoo, mouthwash, toothpaste, and of all things…………a gallon of olive oil? I informed him that none of it would get through; it’s been awhile since he traveled! It was almost humorous to see how distraught Edmond was to have to leave all of those items with the TSA, but I had to remind myself that those items for someone who used to be homeless not that long ago, carried more value than I could ever understand.
When we arrived in Houston we got our rental car and headed out to find our hotel. We got checked in and went to a restaurant to have lunch. While we ate I tried to council Edmond to not expect too much and to “be the doormat” he agreed that it may be awkward and was not sure what to expect, and Tom and I reminded him, that was why we were there with him. In case things did go badly or it became too uncomfortable for Edmond or his family, Tom and I would be on call to be able to pick him up if needed, but we all hoped that we would not be necessary. After we finished eating Edmond called his wife to get directions to take him to their apartment.
When we arrived at the apartment Wanda (Edmond’s wife) came out of the door on the 2nd floor, I think Tom and I were almost as excited to see her as Edmond was. I felt a little awkward being there for such a personal moment that did not involve me, but never the less I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Edmond and Wanda hugged for only a moment and it seemed a little forced on both parts, I didn’t know if it was awkward for them because of all the time that had passed or just because Tom and I were there. Edmond then introduced Tom and I to Wanda, and she invited us up to her apartment.
When we entered Wanda’s apartment there were two children in the living room, they were Edmond’s granddaughter and grandson that he had never met. Edmond immediately introduced himself and they seemed a little confused, I don’t know if Wanda or the children’s mother had spoken much of Edmond or not, but regardless it was an awkward but tender moment that I was blessed to witness. Edmond’s 2 daughters were both at work and would not be there until later.
Tom and I felt like we were out of place and told Edmond we were going to leave him with his family and that he could call us if he needed anything. Before we left I got a photo of Edmond and his grandchildren.
We had left Edmond with his family on Friday and spoke with him breifly on the phone over the next two days, and from every indication thing were going well.
Edmond called me on Sunday afternoon and asked if we would come pick him up now. I could sense in his voice something was wrong, and asked “is everything ok?” he immediately said “no” I could tell he was not alone so I didn’t ask him to explain, I just told him we were on our way.
When we arrived at Wanda’s apartment Edmond was ready and waiting to go, the goodbyes were very breif and we left. As we drove off I could tell by Edmond’s silence something had happened. We drove for awhile in complete silence until I had to ask Edmond what happened? OH BOY! That opened the door for a flood of emotion, mostly anger. I had never seen this side of Edmond and was not quite sure how to respond, so I just let him vent and vent and vent……………and vent! Edmond did not stop venting the whole trip back to the hotel, and then proceeded to vent for another hour once we were in our room.
What had happened was, Wanda and her daughters would have to leave their apartment very early for work the next morning which was a Monday, and they suggested that Tom and I should pick-up Edmond that evening (Sunday) so he would not have to get up so early and have us get up that early to pick him up, which all made perfect sense to me. For Edmond though he saw it as a trust issue, he could see no reason why they would need him to leave when they left for work, he felt that he could have just called Tom and I to come get him later in the morning. Now I don’t know and won’t assume why Wanda suggested the timing as to saying goodbye, but I did not understand why Edmond had reacted as angrily as he did. I thought it made sense that they would want to say their goodbyes at a reasonable hour that evening, rather than at 5am the next morning when everyone is just waking and getting ready for work and school. Nevertheless Edmond felt that it was because they did not want to leave him alone in their apartment.
I had decided that I would just listen and wait until Edmond let it all out and calmed down. During this time Tom had tried to reason with him and be objective, but sympithetic about the issue, but it didn’t seem to help.
Finally Edmond had worn himself out with all of his arm waving and standing up and down and pacing the floor and he slumped into one of the chairs across the small table from me. He then looked up at me as if he had just remembered I was in the room and asked why I had not said anything, and what did I think?
I paused and took a deep breath because what I was about to say was not going to comfort him. I told him that he had expected too much and he had done everthing that I had warned him from weeks earlier. Edmond sat up in his chair and leaned toword the table, I thought maybe he might take a swing at me, but I continued to talk. I was very blunt with him as to his expectations from a family that he had left behind with no contact for 25 years, and that his daughters were still in the same place with their pain and loss of their father as when they were small children, and it would take time to heal those wounds, not a weekend. Also now that they had discovered he was still alive and in their presence, he is now facing stage four cancer and in all likelyhood they would loose him again, only this time to cancer. He was getting angrier with every word I spoke and insisted that, that was not the way a husband/father is treated in Africa, I reminded him we were not in Africa.
As I said earlier Edmond still retained all of his African family traditions and values, which don’t transfer directly into American culture very well, and I reminded him that even things in Africa have changed in the time since he had left. He insisted that he should be recognized as the husband/father of his family and treated as such. I then told him that he would have to earn that back and not to expect anything, but be greatfull for anything………”be the doormat”
He was not letting go of his opinion, and I could see I was doing no good in continuing to talk about it, so we both just let it go…..for now.
Edmond was very hurt and angry and he said allot of things that he would later (weeks later) admit were wrong and regreted saying them.
Our trip back to Phoenix was very quiet and we all had very mixed and confused emotions regarding the outcome of the re-union.
In the next week or so I spoke with Edmond off and on breifly, mostly small talk asking him how he was feeling and if he had spoke to either of his daughters or Wanda. He said that he had spoke to Wanda, but it wasn’t going well, I didn’t ask about specifics.
Our men’s group that Edmond had become a part of met that next Thursday evening and all of the guys were anxious to hear about Edmond’s trip to see his family. When the obvious question was asked, it was pretty much a repeat performance of that day in Houston. Edmond rehashed all of his anger and hurt feelings that he had experienced in Houston, only this time his audience was a group of 10-13 guys that Edmond had gotten to know over the past 4-5 months on a fairly personal level, as that is the nature of that men’s group.
It was encouraging to see and hear that once he was done telling the story, the responses he got from the group were pretty much the same as what Tom and I had given him in Houston. Edmond seemed frustrated and baffled that he could not get the sympathy he felt he deserved. Now these men were and are very sympathetic toword each other and the struggles and issues we share with one another, but are also brutally honest with one another when we are in the wrong.
Edmond was having to re-think his position on the Houston trip. He struggled with it for months and would go from recognizing he had expected too much and then back to his original position of being hurt, angry and not being trusted. This would be an ongoing struggle for Edmond for months to come.
In the next few months Edmond’s health was weakening and the hydrogen peroxide regimin had not seemed to make a difference, but never the less Edmond kept to it.
Edmond was determined to go back to work now that he had his green card replaced, and he did find a part time job as a driver for auto auction facility. Edmond was living with my father (Jerry) in Scottsdale and his new job was in south west Phoenix which is quite a distance to travel by bus, but Edmond was very familiar with the bus services and was determined he would be employed.
He would have to get up at 3am to walk to the bus stop that would be at the start of several transfers to different routes until he would finally get to the last stop, and then walk a good distance to his work place, and then at the end of his work day turn around and do the same trip home. There are many people that do similar things to get to work due to their financial needs, but Edmond knew that his financial needs were being taken care of and chose to do this because he was determined he would help contribute in any way he could.
At this time Edmond was still receiving aid from the state for food, and he made sure that my fathers refrigerator and cupboards had food in them. Edmond’s diet and tastes were not the same as my father’s, Edmond insisted on cooking for the two of them and of course Edmond would cook the dishes he was familiar with, allot of rice with every meal, plantans, beans, turkey necks, chicken, vegitables, and something he called foo foo, which I still don’t know what it is. Jerry went along with the menu for as long as he could, but when he would come to work he would describe what Edmond was cooking and said that he didn’t think anyone could eat that much rice, as he described it as “mountains of rice!” Finally they came to an agreement that each of them would do their own cooking, but they still occasionally would share one of Edmond’s meals.
Tom and I had helped a friend move, and one of the things he was leaving behind was a bicycle and asked if either one of us wanted it, we both already have bikes but we thought that maybe Edmond might like to have it. I called Edmond and asked if he would like to have it and he did not hesitate “YES!”
Now with a bike he could ride it to the bus stop at the beginning of his commute, put it on the bus, and then ride it the final distance to his work place. He one time forgot to get the bike off of the bus and the driver left before Edmond had realized it. He did get it back, and didn’t make that mistake again.
Now that Edmond was working and with such a long commute, by the time he was off work and made the journy home he was too tired to do just about anything else, so our men’s group that Edmond had become a regular at, became an occasional attendance for him. All the guys missed him and wanted regular updates about his health, job, and how things were going with his family, and of course as always we prayed for him.
As time went by Edmond became more and more weak, but still continued to push himself to get to work and back, and loved the fact that he was able to work.
On morning very early 12:30am ish, Edmond woke up in extreme pain and he said that it would not subside, so out of courtesy to not wake Jerry, Edmond called 911. Well I guess he didn’t think that all the way through, because as we know that when you dial 911 they show up with sirens blaring, and Edmond was in too much pain to answer the door so guess who had to get up and answer the pounding at the door….Jerry.
They took him to Scottsdale Health Care on Osbourn which is very close to Jerry’s home and Jerry followed the ambulance. Jerry called me when they arrived to inform me of what had happened. They performed allot of tests and determined that the pain Edmond was experiencing was due to the collapsing of a stint that the county hospital had placed in Edmond months ago. It was collapsing due to the growth of the tumor against it.
I showed up to visit Edmond later that day and when I arrived in his room the oncologist was there breifing Edmond as to his condition. Edmond asked if he would repeat what he had just told him so I may hear it from him rather than Edmond trying to repeat what he told him.
The doctor informed me that Edmond’s cancer had progressed and the tumor was pushing against the stint that the county hospital had put in place and causing the pain and creating other issues. He said they would be sending Edmond back to the county hospital for them to replace the stint. He then informed me that the cancer had spread to other areas and that there were only 2 options available to Edmond at this point, #1 chemo therapy, which would only buy Edmond more time, and he indicated it would not be much time, #2 contact and make arrangements with a hospic organization.
Then the doctor followed up with since the chemo is very expensive and Edmond did not have any insurances to cover the treatments, he suggested contacting a hospic organization soon. He asked if there was anything else or if we had any questions, we both wanted more hope from him, but he was doing his job and being completely honest, which is not always comforting, we both said no, and thanked him. He turned to leave the room and I motioned to Edmond I would be right back.
I left the room and followed him to where he had sat down at a desk, the doctor looked up and asked is there something else I can do? I asked him how much would the chemo therapy cost? He looked at me as if he did not understand the question, so asked again, how much would the chemo therapy cost? He seemed confused and all he could say was it would be very expensive. I again pressed him for an amount, he said that he really couldn’t give me a number off the top of his head, so I asked him if he could get back to me in the next few days and have an amount? He said yes he could do that, but why? I told him that I belonged to a very generous church body and that I was not giving up on some how finding a way to get Edmond more time, and if I had a specific amount as a target it would become something to reach for. He then seemed to understand my questioning, but still seemed confused. He took my phone number and said he would be in contact.
I went back to Edmond’s room and sat with him for awhile and he, as always seemed to be accepting of the diagnosis and reality of it. Edmond said that if there was no way to receive chemo and that it meant he would die soon, he was ready to be with Christ, BUT he said if he could just have 1 extra day, week, month, or whatever extra time, he would take it to be able to witness to others of how God has worked in his life. We prayed and I left him.
As I left the hospital my mind was racing trying to think of ways to raise money to buy Edmond more time through the chemo treatments. It’s kind of silly the way the mind works (at least mine) when you get desperate, I thought of car washes, bake sales, garage sales, fund raising events, etc. but as my mind rushed through all of these desperate ideas, I realized that if any effort to raise the amount needed for the chemo were to be even somewhat successful it would be because prayers were heard and a loving God answered them.
I had left the hospital to be able to get to the men’s group that I have already mentioned, the group meets every Thursday night at my church at 6:30pm, it is called the Refinery. I had told Edmond before I left that we would be praying for him as usual tonight.
When we get started at the Refinery we always ask everyone if anyone has any prayer requests or praises to share with the group, most of the time it takes a good half hour or more to get through them, which is the most important and enriching time we spend together. When we started I asked for prayers for Edmond, I went on to explain what I had just found out from the doctor, the only 2 options that were given to Edmond. I then shared Edmond’s request for extra time and what he wanted it for.
One of our regular guys, Bruce, then said that there has to be someone or some way out there to be able to provide the funds needed to buy Edmond that extra time, Bruce then said that we should pray for it right now. So Bruce lead us in prayer and we spent the next several minutes praying together desperately asking that if there was a way to provide the funds necessary for the chemo, that God would open those doors and have them come forward. We spent the rest of our time that evening talking about Edmond and how we were all blessed to be able to call him our friend and the times we had shared with him, every guy there loves him as a brother.
The next morning I was at work and got a phone call from Edmond. Whenever he was in the hospital he would always use that time to be on the phone, I guess he would get bored or just want someone to talk to, He said “good morning Scott” he was always very uplifting when you would talk to him. We talked for a while and he informed me that a woman on the hospital staff was there earlier and was questioning him about his insurance and his ability to pay or who would be the responsible party. I told him that the hospital would be seeking payment for his stay and services and that was all part of the process. He then told me that the woman that was there sat with him for a long time as he witnessed to her and told her his story, that is basically the first part of Edmond’s story. He said they were both in tears as he told her of all of the blessings God had provided to him, even though he was told just the night before that he needed to prepare to die. He said that when she left, she told him she would be back.
Edmond has been in and out of the hospital several times in the short time I have known him, and he always amazed me at how all of the doctors, nurses, and all of the staff ALWAYS, took to him. It was like everyone seemed to just love the guy. He was always polite, gracious and friendly to everyone.
We ended our conversation with me telling him I would be back to the hospital to see him later that day, we said goodbye.
Edmond called me back a couple of hours later, and when I answered he was crying, no wait he was laughing,……..no crying, now laughing, all I could think was that he was heavily sedated or something. He then was able to stop crying/laughing long enough to tell me that the woman (Sandra) that was there earlier was back and sitting next to him. He then explained that she had consulted with and told Edmond’s story to whoever she answers to, and that Scottsdale Health Care had decided to not bill him for his hospital stay and their services, but wait…………remember the loving God that I mentioned who hears prayers? Scottsdale Health Care also decided to provide Edmond with chemo therapy and any other services needed free of charge.
That prayer was prayed not even 24 hours prior, and ANSWERED!
Some may say it was all coincidence or give Scottsdale Health Care all of the glory, I will give God all of the glory and be thankful that there are organizations like Scottsdale Health Care that will listen to their staff and allow God to work through their organization, but that’s just my veiwpoint, what’s yours?
Edmond could not stop praising God and thanking the hospital, he was like a child at Christmas who had just opened the very best gift any child could ask for…..life.
Once we had finished crying, all 3 of us Edmond, Sandra, and I, I told Edmond I would see him that evening. I immediately got back on the phone and called everyone I could get ahold of to tell them the good news. The response from everyone was, thank you Lord for prayers heard and answered.
When I saw Edmond that evening he was on top of the world just knowing that there was the possibility he would have his life extended to be able to share his story of how God has heard and answered so many prayers for him in less than a year.
The day before Edmond and I met at that intersection as he was “flying signs”, he had woke up that morning where he slept behind a garbage dumpster and begged God to show him a sign that he really did exist and cared about him, Edmond and I met the next day, not only was God working in Edmond’s life, but in mine as well.
The day before I met Edmond I had received an email from a woman I did not know who lives in N.Y., I don’t have any idea how she even got my email address. She was pleading for someone to help a friend of hers who had attended my church. Her friend was in need of a place to live and some financial support. She had included her phone number, so I called her to discuss her friend’s needs, we talked for awhile about different options and she asked if it would be ok if she called me back in a few days and asked if the number I was calling on would be the best way to contact me, I told her that I would have to give her my work number because the phone I was calling on would probably be disconected at anytime, she inquired as to why. At first I thought it was really not her business as to why, but for some reason I felt like it was ok to tell her. I informed her that my wife and I were going through some really tough times financially and I had not been able to pay the phone bill, so it was scheduled to be turned off. She asked if she could help by paying the amount due to keep it from being turned off, I was really taken off guard by this gesture from someone I had never met and told her that she was very generous but I couldn’t accept that. She then asked me isn’t that what we are supposed to do for each other? I didn’t know how to respond other than, yes? So I reluctantly agreed to allow her to pay my phone bill.
I am very uncomfortable, as most men are, to accept help, especially from a total stranger, but for some reason on that day I felt compelled to accept the help.
Well, back to heard and answered prayers. Something I had left out of the first part of Edmond’s story was that on the day he and I met and he gave me his cell phone number so we could find eachother again, when I asked him for his phone number he informed me that it was about to be turned off because he could not pay the bill………….hmm, when he said that to me, I immediately went back to my conversation with a total stranger that wanted to pay my phone bill the day before. So I told Edmond I would pay his phone bill to be sure it wasn’t shut off. I had no idea what I was saying, or how much his bill would be, but I took a step of faith that I would be able to keep my word. It turned out that Edmond’s phone bill was allot less than mine and I was able to pay his.
Coeincedence, not in my book!
This is just one of the examples of God having his hand in this new relationship that started by me hearing “roll down the window” on the day I saw Edmond standing on the street flying signs.
As you read this story, how can anyone say that all of these blessings and answers to very specific prayers are coeincedence?
Ok, back to the timeline. Shortly after Edmond left the hospital he was scheduled to go back to the county hospital to have the collapsing stint replaced. The day he was to have the procedure done they had asked him to come early to fill out paper work prior to the procedure, so Jerry drove Edmond to the hospital and kept him company, as he always did when Edmond had a doctors appointment. They waited for hours, until someone told them they would have to come back tomorrow because it had gotten too late to do it today.
They went back the next day and even though the paper work had been filled the day before, they still waited for hours until they got to Edmond and did the procedure. Edmond was still very gracious and polite through all of the delay and waiting.
Edmond went back to work at his part time job and struggled to get back and forth as he became weaker and weaker.
It took a few days before Edmond went to his 1st chemo treatment and he was determined that there were not going to be any of the typical side effects that they had warned him of, he told me that it was all a matter of keeping the right frame of mind and being positive. I agreed with him that being positive was very important, but also warned him that if he should experience the side effects, it was not because he was not positive enough.
Jerry and my wife, Louise were Edmond’s tag team for his chemo treatments, sometimes Jerry would drop him off and Louise would meet him there and sit with him during the treatment. Louise and Edmond became very close from the first time they met, Edmond’s irresistable charm and personality again. Louise would tell me about the time she spent with Edmond during his treatments as if they were out having fun, she would tell me about how most of the time was spent laughing and joking with each other, and other times later that Edmond was too weak and tired and would just sleep while she would read or do crossword puzzles and wait.
Eventually Edmond had to quit his job, it became too strenuous for Edmond to keep up the pace. Edmond struggled to come to church on Sundays but would push himself to be there as often as he could.
At our last Easter service, as usual, our church had a very special music program. Edmond made it a point to be there for the Easter service even though he was very weak that day.
One of the songs performed that day spoke of meeting Jesus face to face, and the soloist that sang it, really sang it! I was standing next to Edmond and turned to him an saw he was sobbing and crying uncontrolably and Louise was on his other side and noticed as well, then we both started crying with him. We both wrapped our arms around him and I leaned over and told him that is what you need to keep your focus on, being face to face with Jesus and the joy of being in his presence. That became my frequent reminder to Edmond on many occasions when he would become depressed or fearful of what was to come.
Edmond was so touched by that song he wanted to meet the woman who sang it. Her name is Sonia and she is a good friend of Louise’s, so after the service Louise introduced them and they talked, and of course Sonia became another victim of Edmond’s irresistable personality.
As time went by Edmond ventured out of the house less and less, and eventually very rarely left his bed. We would talk on the phone on a fairly regular basis, but the conversations were always breif, Edmond always felt like he was taking up my time when we were on the phone. When I would try to keep him on the phone he seemed like it was an effort to carry on the conversation.
Edmond spoke to his wife and daughters on a regular basis, but the need or desire for them to be together did not seem to be there, on either side. Edmond would have liked to be a bigger part of their lives as the husband/father he felt he should be, but he did not have the strength or the time to be able to do so. I believe that Edmond had finally come to the realization of how much distance was created in the time that had past in all those years he had not seen or spoken with his family, and he deeply regreted those lost years.
Louise and I would go to my father’s house on Saturday or Sunday afternoons to visit Edmond, he was usually in bed asleep. We would just sit down on the bed with him and he would usually wake up, but other times he would not. The visits were always good for all of us, and some times Edmond was his old self, laughing and joking and telling stories, and other times he would tire himself out just trying to carry on a conversation and stay awake.
Edmond ended up in the hospital again due to the stint again that the county hospital had placed in him. He was in the Scottsdale Health Care Hospital where he had been when our prayers for chemo treatment had been answered. They again told him that the stint was not functioning properly and it needed to be either replaced or adjusted, and they would contact the county hospital to make the arrangements to have it done there. Edmond was not happy or willing to go back to the county hospital to have it done again, and said that he was ready for whatever was to come, but would not go back to the county hospital.
Again, Scottsdale Health Care stepped forward, and offered to do the surgery.
Edmond as always, was dumb founded as to how and why they would offer him all of the care they were giving him, but again graciously accepted the offer, and they replaced the stint.
When they had done the stint replacement they were able to see the progression of the cancer that at this time was very advanced and they informed Edmond that it was time to contact a hospice organization. We spoke on the phone shortly after they gave him the news and advice of where his health was and the time he should expect to have.
Edmond reluctantly agreed it was time to arrange hospic care.
My father, Jerry had lost his wife to cancer several years earlier and the hospic organization that was involved for her care was Hospice of the Valley, my Dad had nothing but good things to say about them and the way they cared for Kay, so he suggested them for Edmond and he agreed.
Edmond and I spoke frequently by phone and Louise and I would visit on weekends as well as allot of the guy’s from the Refinery group.
Edmond also had charmed a very generous loving lady that was the mother of a close friend. They met one day at Bible Baptist church where Edmond had lived for a while and we go to feed the homeless every month. Her name is Jerri and she immediately became a very close friend to Edmond. She would regularly bring meals to my Dad’s house, not only for Edmond but my Dad as well.
Edmond, as I have said had a personality that no one could resist, but as I look back I have come to the conclusion that when the love of Christ is in you you, as strong as it was in Edmond, you become irresistable.
Edmond was indeed using the time that was givin to him through prayer, to be one of the most powerful loving witnesses for Christ that I have ever seen.
There are too many people that Edmond had touched in the short time I knew him to mention, and all of them will remember him, and hopefully tell his story of hope and love to others who may be struggling with their own issues.
Edmond became pretty much bed ridden by this time and was relying on his pain meds to get through the short times he was awake. It was clear that his time was growing short and I had to start thinking about a promise I had made him nearly a year ago.
Almost a year earlier right after Edmond had been diagnosed with cancer, Edmond was still living at Bible Baptist Church. On that day we annoited him with oil and prayed over him. He was very scared on that day and we all cried together, but on that day he asked me to make him a promise.
He asked me, please do not let them burn my body (cremation) and he asked me if I would send his body home to be buried with his parents in his village in South Africa. What was I going to say………..no? I immediately responded with yes, not knowing what all was involved in the promise I had just made.
I was now faced with the realazation of the promise I had made.
Edmond ended up in the hospital due to the stint again, only this time they determined there would be nothing they could do, and it was just a matter of time……..short time.
Everyone visited Edmond while he was there. I had informed them all that this would be the last time he would be in the hospital and his time was near.
Dan King is one of the Pastors at my church and he frequently had visited Edmond on his previous hospital stays. Edmond was always so surprised that Dan would come to visit him, it really made him feel special.
I went to visit Edmond that evening and he had a room full of visitors parading through, Pastor Dan was there when I arrived. Edmond was alert and in better spirits than I had seen him in, in months. Sandra the employee of Scottsdale Health Care I had previously mentioned was there also, she was laughing and crying with Edmond as he told stories.
On that night as I watched Edmond tell stories and laugh till he was in tears, there was a brief moment as I watched him from the foot of his bed, he looked like a little boy laughing himself into tears. He had become very thin and frail and it was painful for him to laugh, but he could not stop himself. It was one of the most happy joyful moments I have ever experienced, and at the same time one of the most sad and sorrowful moments, knowing that it would be one of the last times I would share laughter with a dear friend.
After everyone else had left Louise and I remained.
Edmond had expressed to Louise and I on a visit with him at my Dad’s house a week earlier, that he felt like something was missing or left undone and he was very troubled by it, but he could not figure out what it was. I suggested it was the issues with his family and the distance that had not been resolved, he was not sure if that was what he was feeling and seemed skeptical.
On the Sunday prior to Edmond being in the hospital, the message at church was on forgiveness. At one point in the service Louise turned to me and whispered “that is what Edmond is feeling is undone” and as soon as she said that it was like a light bulb coming on, yes it was so obvious, it was not the distance that was between he and his family, it was his resentment that he still carried from the visit to Houston.
So, back in the hospital. As Edmond started to unwind from his laughter and uplifting visitors, he was worn out and tired and became quiet and solemn.
I sat down on the bed next to Edmond and asked him if he remembered our conversation the week before and how he had expressed the feeling of something being left undone. He said yes I do. Louise and I then gave him the abbreviated version of the sermon we had heard on Sunday about forgiveness, and suggested that might be what he was feeling. Edmond wasn’t quite sure if that could be the source of what he was feeling, but was willing to admit that the resentment he still held for his hurt feelings on the Houston visit were something that he needed to release, I could see he was doing all he could to hold back tears, but the emotions were more than he could hold back and he began to weep, Louise and I both sat on the bed with him and held him and cried. I reminded him of the song he had heard on easter that had brought him to tears, and told him focus on seeing Jesus face to face and the joy you will have being in His presence.
It is really tough to leave someone you love and care for sitting alone in a hopital bed.
Edmond went home the next day to my fathers house. It was Thursday I went over to see him, when I got there he was asleep so I gently sat down on the bed just to spend some time with him.
One of the side effects of the stint failing was hicups, strange but true. While I was sitting on the bed with him he started hicuping, every time he hicupped he was in pain, after 2 or 3 hicups it was enough to wake him. He opened his eyes and saw me sitting there and grinned and said “Hi Scott” he struggled to try and sit up, but could only manage to roll over to face me.
By this time Edmond was relying on pain meds just to be comfortable enough to sleep, so needless to say he was not always coherant enough to carry on a conversation for any length of time, but on that day once he woke up we talked for a couple of hours. At one point in our conversation he looked at me and said I am ashamed of myself and what I have done with my life, he said that he had such high ambitions when he was younger and said that he had given up on pursuing them and deeply regreted it.
He then said I am the number 2 pipe. I didn’t think I heard him correctly so I asked, you are the what? He then repeated what I thought I had misunderstood “I am the number 2 pipe” I told him I don’t understand, he then began to tell me a story of when he was a teenager still living at home with his parents in his village in South Africa. He said that on one occasion he had done something to make his father very angry with him, and he told me on that occasion his father called him the number 2 pipe. I again told him I don’t understand number 2 pipe?
He then explained that in his village all the homes had 2 pipes, the number 1 pipe brought in the fresh water, and the number 2 pipe…………well lets just say it took out the number 2 waste, enough said. As Edmond told me this story I could see how much that this still hurt him. He had spoken of his father many times in the past and it was always in a positive way, he was the chief of police in his village and very well respected by the community, but I could see that Edmond had carried this with him his whole life and still felt like he was a disapointment to his father, even though his father had died years ago.
I tried to encourage him that he was not the number 2 pipe and that in the time I had known him he was an honest caring man that his father would be proud of and that he would soon have the opportunity to be with him again.
We talked for awhile about things we both had done through out our lives that we looked back on with regret, and I again reminded him to stay focused on being face to face with Christ and that the struggles and pain would be gone. Edmond enthusiastically then said “I am ready and I want to go!” I could see that he had worn himself out from our long emotional conversation and he eased back and closed his eyes and tried to stay awake, for my sake, but eventually feel back to sleep.
I left for home and while driving I replayed in my mind the day I met Edmond standing on the side of the road flyin signs and sitting with him eating lunch by the side of the road and feeling awkward about, what if someone I knew drove by and saw me, what would they think, I now feel ashamed that I ever even had those thoughts, and thought that I would cherish the opportunity to sit at that intersection with Edmond and have lunch with him again, and not think twice about who saw me or what they might think.
God has touched my life through Edmond and made me realize that there are people out there in the world that can change our lives and we can change theirs, but we walk or drive by them every day without a thought of who they are and what they are struggling with or what their needs are.
Yeah I know it sounds like way too big of an expectation for us to be concerned about total strangers that we pass every day, but what if by a chain of unforseen misfortunes it was you who ended up standing on the roadside flyin signs just to be able to fill your stomach or raise enough money to be able to get into a clinic to try and find out what that pain is that won’t go away, wouldn’t you hope and maybe pray that someone, anyone might care enough for you to want to help in some way.
I am not specifically refering to the homeless, there are people in our lives that we associate with daily at work, church, family, friends, and yes, even total strangers. Ok I’ll step down off my soap box now.
When I got home that night I knew it would not be long before Edmond would pass. My father and I share a studio for work and he is normally there before me in the mornings. When I got to work the next day he was not in yet, so I called him to see if everything was all right, he said that Edmond was not doing well and was struggling with pain all night. I left work and went to my Dad’s house.
When I got there my Dad told me that he was up all night with him because he was in so much pain, he had called hospice to get advice as to how to help, they advised him as to which pain meds and what amount to administer to Edmond.
When I walked into the room Edmond was at the point where he could not speak and was awake but unable to focus on anyone, I have seen this before with my Mother and my Step Mother who both died of cancer, in fact Kay my Step Mother died in the same bed Edmond was lying in, and my mother died in a transport van while we trying to get her home to pass in her own bed, as were her wishes.
Edmond would groan and try and move as if to find a less painful position. I told my Dad it was time that he be moved to the hospice facility that would provide more extensive care for him in his last days or hours. Dad called them and they sent out a case worker who took care of all of the arrangements and set up transportation.
Thank God for these types of organizations, it is hard enough as it is to go through the process of watching a loved one in the dying process, much less have to worry and deal with all of the details.
The transport van arrived and the 2 attendants prepared Edmond to travel. We got him in the van and I rode with him, this was feeling all too familiar. I sat next to the gurney that Edmond was on and held his hand and talked to him as if we were out for a Sunday drive. He seemed to become aware that he was traveling in a vehicle and not at home in bed and tried to speak but I could not make out what he had mumbled, but he did focus on my face and I know he recognized me.
We arrived at the hospice facility and they had a room already prepared for him, so they rolled him in and transferred him into a bed in a very nice private room and made him comfortable.
At this time I proceeded to make all of the phone calls to everyone that I knew that would want to see him before he passed, the most difficult call was to his wife Wanda and his daughters who were all in Houston.
Now through out the past year as well as up to this point of Edmond’s story, people who were on the outside looking in, doctors, nurses, case workers, etc. always seemed confused as to what the relationship was between Edmond and I and Edmond and my Father, and most of the time, unless required, never asked but always seemed confused. We clearly were not related, a middle aged black man from South Africa and a middle aged white guy from Arizona, and my father a, sorry Dad, elderly white guy from Arizona, so a few would ask out of curiosity, and on some instances they were required to ask. We would always try to explain without it being too uncomfortable for Edmond, but most of the time Edmond would speak up, when he could, and just blurt it out that he was a homeless man that by God’s grace found some white guys that became friends and took him in.
On one occasion Edmond had a doctors appointment with a new doctor and Jerry as usual acompanied him, Edmond always wanted Jerry in the room with him when he was with the doctor because, as he said it was easier than trying to remember and explain what the doctor had said. So as they took Edmond in Jerry followed and as Edmond and my Dad both explained, the staff was starring at the 2 of them, the nurse asked what their relationship was, and they both answered “we live together”. Ok, we all know where her thoughts went, right? When she left the room they both realized what she thought, they both laughed and didn’t bother to clairify any further, but when they were leaving they said that they got a few curious stares.
So as I filled out all of the paperwork for the hospice facility I was asked by the lady at the desk what my relationship was to Edmond, how do you explain this story in a one sentence answer, you don’t. I simply said he is my friend that was homeless, and if you are interested in his story you can read it on my Behance website, which is where you are right now if you are reading this.
Louise and Jerry showed up shortly after we got Edmond settled in, and the parade of friends soon followed. Edmond had several friends in the Phoenix area that have known him much longer than I, and were from South Africa also, and the phone calls from all over the country and South Africa started rolling in. To be honest it was a little overwhelming to try and explain everything to all of these strangers over and over again. Everyone was supportive and expressed their gratitude to my Father and I for being there for Edmond, and as I explained to all of them, I was blessed to be able to know and call Edmond my friend.
Louise, Jerry and I spent the rest of the day there with Edmond while all of his friends came to visit, as it got late Jerry and I decided to both go home, I had to be in the studio in the morning and was scheduled to work at a part time job until 7pm that evening.
Louise had spent the night sitting bedside with Edmond and had long one sided conversations with him.
I called Louise frequently to check in and see how things were. We were told when we checked Edmond in that it would be a very short time. I had begun my shift at my part time job and was about an hour away from getting off and Louise called me and said I should come now! If I were to leave work it would mean the whole business would have to be closed early because I was the closer, I quickly called the owner and asked if I could close early and breifly explained as to why, He said yes by all means go. I locked up as quickly as I could and jumped in my car and headed for the hospice, it was not far only a few miles away.
As I got into the exit lane to get off the freeway I realized where I was, I was at the same exact intersection where I had heard “roll down the window” the day I met Edmond, ok I am one of those guys that would never admit to crying easily, but at that moment my entire relationship and all of the times I spent with Edmond came flooding back to me, taking him camping for his first time, the joy of finally getting his green card back, reuniting him with his family and him meeting 2 grandchildren he had never seen, crying with him many times, sharing holidays, and the promise I made to him to return him home to be buried in his village, ok I was crying like a baby! The drive seemed like it was a cross country trip, as I pulled up to park one of my and Edmond’s close friends, Bruce was walking toword my car, he just walked to me and wrapped his arms around me and told Edmond had just passed. We were both in tears as we hugged it out, men can do that ya know!
I went in and Louise was standing next to the bed holding his hand and stroking his forehead she was soaked with tears and smiling we hugged and she looked at me and said “ he is face to face with Christ”………..ok I am sitting here crying as I write this even now. GOD IS GREAT!, and our lives are not without purpose!
On that day at that hour I knew how important and life changing that Christ can be once we accept him and allow the Spirit to work through us.
Edmond did not die homeless and alone behind a garbage dumpster, he died in a dignified way surrounded by people who truly loved him, and he touched the lives of more people than will ever be realized in the time that was granted to him through prayer as his story is passed on and shared.
We spent the next few hours talking about the times we had shared with Edmond and the ways he had witnessed to others while we contacted a funeral home to make arrangements for his body.
Well, now comes the most challenging and daunting promise I have ever had to try and fulfill, GET EDMOND HOME!
I contacted a funeral home to make arrangements for the transport of Edmond’s body not knowing how or when I would be able to pay for the services that now needed to be started. The funeral home that I chose was one that my father had used when my step mother died and he said they were very helpful and considerate when he had delt with them.
As usual when I contacted them just as all of Edmond’s doctors and case workers did in the past, they wanted to know what my relationship with Edmond was. This was never a short or easy answer, so I gave a very short and abreviated version of the story and told the person I was speaking to if they were interested in the whole story they could read it online, she said yes I would be very interested in it, so I gave her the web address to find it. She explained that Edmond would be picked up and transported to one of their facilities within the hour and wanted to know if they should begin the embalming process right away, I agreed to proceed due to the fact that it might be some time to work out all of the details to return Edmond to South Africa. They arrived a short time later and transported him.
We thanked all of the staff at the hospice for all of their care and help that they had provided and left for home.
I awoke the next morning with a sense of urgency to start the ball rolling on this promise. I had no idea what all was involved in preparing and sending a body to another country to be buried. That day was a Sunday and I announced to those at church that had not heard, Edmond had passed. It was not unexpected because everyone was always asking for updates about Edmond, so most knew that it was only a matter of time.
The question that naturally followed was, is there going to be a service and if so where and when? That’s where the answer got complicated, but then there was never anything about this relationship that wasn’t complicated, other than the freindship and love shared between us.
I then had to explain the promise I had made to Edmond almost a year ago. Most of the responses were Oh wow! That is going to be difficult………and expensive!
I was starting to realize that what I had promised may be beyond my capabilities and certainly way beyond my financial resources. I decided that this was definetly beyond my capabilities and if this were to get done I was going to rely on someone else………..God.
So as the next days went by everyone that asked if there was anything they could do my response was money and prayer.
On that next Thursday when our men’s group met Edmond was the topic, and the promise I had made him. There were a few people who commented and probably many more that thought why not just cremate his remains and send them to South Africa or bury him here? But they did not see Edmond’s face and the desperation in his eyes when he asked this of me, and besides for me a promise has always been a promise.
We spent that evening discussing the times we all had shared with Edmond and the prayers that we all had witnessed being answered. The topic of how to get Edmond home eventually became the focus and none of us were able to calculate the costs and effort that it would take to pull this off, other than expensive and difficult!
One of the regulars at this men’s group “Alec” said he had a relative in the mortuary business in Texas and maybe he could give us some insight or guidance as to how to proceed, so he said he would give him a call.
The next day Alec called me and said that his relative had worked with a company that specialized in shipping remains all over the world, and infact was freqently contracted by governments to do so. I thought yeah, ok this won’t be cheap! Alec provided me with a contact name and a phone number of the gentleman.
I reluctantly called the number Alec had given me thinking that if this is a company that deals with governments world wide what would be the chances of me getting them invoved in transporting the remains of a homeless man in Arizona to a small village in South Africa, never the less I knew that if it was going to happen it would be only through God and as I know ALL things ARE possible through God. When the person answered the phone, we’ll call him Bill for his privacy sake, I proceeded to tell him the situation and was anticipating him to eventually cut me off and say that he was very sorry, but this would be something he could not help me with, but to my surprise “Bill” seemed very interested and willing to at least allow me to explain my situation. He asked me all of the pertinent questions regarding Edmond, his citizenship, documents, etc.
I also offered him the web address to Edmond’s story in case he may be interested in how this whole relationship evolved, he said yes he would like to read it.
I gave him the info. To the funeral home where Edmond was at and the name of the person I had spoken to, we will call her Mary for her privacy sake.
Bill said that he would look into what he could do to help and get back to me by phone in the next day or so.
I contacted “Mary” at the funeral home to let her
thought it might be. We looked for hours and did not find it, I then thought maybe it was in the pocket of whatever clothes he had last worn before he was unable to get out of bed.
We began going through Edmond’s dirty laundry thinking that’s where it had to be, we found that Edmond had not done his laundry in quite awhile so it took some time to get through it all, and was his wallet there? Nope!
Now we were getting very concerned, knowing how hard it was to replace his green card when he was alive, how hard and how long would it take to relace it now that he was gone, impossible!
I decided that Edmond had probably hidden his wallet, as he had done in the past when he was homeless for fear of being robbed, old habits are hard to break. I then came to the conclusion that if it was here, it could be anywhere, so we proceeded to go through every place and everything that Edmond had, and for a homeless man, he had ALLOT!
Edmond had a habit of collecting suitcases, bags, binders, anything that you could store things in. When we started going through his things we could hardly believe all of the things we were finding, nothing expensive or elaborate, but things that most of us don’t tend to collect.
Note books and note pads, pencils and pens, shampoo, soap, deodorant, toothbrushes and toothpaste, combs, earphones, cameras, silverware, pots and pans, books, backpacks, and there were bags inside of bags, inside of bags. Now none of these things would seem strange to find of any of us, but there were 6-10 of each of these items, did we find his wallet in any of that? Nope!
Okay, now on to the file cabinet that my dad had given him several drawers to use, good place for a wallet or important documents, right? Nope!
Okay, the only thing left was the rest of his clothes, we had already searched the dirty laundry, now on to the clean stuff. We started with the things in all of the drawers and felt and went through every pocket of every thing, through all of his socks and underware, hats, shoes, and did we find it? Nope!
Now on to all of the clothes on hangers in the closet, we pulled every pair of pants off the hangers looked through all of the pockets and every shirt and coat, nope!
Now on to his suits, yes he had suits, and nice ones! He bought all of his clothes at Goodwill stores, and Edmond had impecable taste when it came to clothes, he had nicer clothes than me or most of my friends, but second hand used. I started at one end of his suits, approximately 8-10 suits. I looked through every pair of pants pockets, every coats inside and outside pockets, and do you think I found his wallet? YES! In the very last suit in the inside pocket of the coat there it was his wallet with all of his documents that we needed, I know Edmond was looking down at us laughing as we could not believe that it would be in the very last thing we would search after hours and hours.
My dad and I just laughed and praised God that we found it.
While going through his belongings we put aside several of his more personal things, such as his watch, hats, glasses, notebooks, bibles, books, and other assorted items to send to his daughters in Houston. Edmond had requested that all of his clothing and other things be donated to the homeless at the church we serve at.
I called Bill in Dallas to inform him that we had found the documents needed to be able to transport Edmond back home to Africa to be buried with his parents, he was glad to hear that we found everything and asked me to fax him the documents. Bill was able to give me an overall cost to get Edmond home, it would end up being a little over $9,000 which was to include the local funeral home’s fees, I was overwhelmed at the number but yet amazed, because I was originally told it would be between $14,000 and $18,000, Bill told me that he wanted to help as much as he was able to, but there were certain costs that he could not discount or waive, I thanked him for everything he was able to do. He asked me if I had an estimate as to how long it would take to raise the money, I told him I had no idea, but would be pushing hard to make it happen.
Now the huge hurdle facing me was the money it would take to finance all the costs in getting Edmond home.
There were allot of people at my church that had met and gotten to know Edmond since he was a regular face in church and in our men’s group, so I had high hopes that there would be enough people that would understand the wishes that Edmond had made and the prediciment I was in and step forward with donations to get him home.
Through the next few days everyone asked if there was anything they could do to help, and my response was always, money. There were several people that would immediately open their wallets and purses and just hand me money, and one friend that had never even met Edmond gave me $300, I was amazed and very grateful. I started to feel very uncomfortable about taking cash from people so I asked one of my pastors if he would be a co-signer on a memorial fund at a local bank so people could just donate directly to it, rather than me personally accepting it. So we met at a local branch and opened the “Edmond Okolo returning home memorial fund” I thought that this would make it easy for people to donate and the funds would come rolling in. Days went buy and the balance did not change, a week went by without change, I was beginning to get worried that I was not going to be able to fulfill Edmond’s request.
Just after Edmond had passed I started receiving phone calls from several people around the country that had heard of Edmond’s passing. These were people that were also immigrants from Africa. I did not know any of them and some of them did not know Edmond personally, but had heard his story through others and had also heard that I had made the promise to Edmond to return his body home to be with his father and mother.
Now I appreciated the concern and all of their insistance on the importance of sending Edmond home, but every conversation started with ”how much money do you have now?” These phone calls would sometimes be 2 or 3 times in a day and the time dragged out day by day. I was also in contact with Edmond’s brother and half sister in Africa and they were also trying to raise money to help get him home. Edmond’s brother and I started to speak about every other day, keeping each other informed as to how much money was available. At this point it had been about 3 weeks since Edmond had died and I was starting to seem like my promise to Edmond would not be possible. I was becoming very frustrated with the daily phone calls inquiring as to how much money was available from the several people who kept calling, they kept insisting that they would make money available also, but would never give me an amount or tell me when. I became very skeptical that there would be any help from them at all, and became more and more frustrated with every phone call.
I was becoming very concerned that the cost for keeping Edmond’s remains at the funeral home was mounting every day and at some point would make it impossible to pay that expense, much less even get Edmond home.
I called the funeral home and spoke to Mary and explained the difficulty I was against with the lack of funds to be able to move forward, I was assured that there were no charges being accumulated for keeping Edmond in their facility, and was told that he would be kept for as long as it took, but we both knew that there was a time frame that was already running out that neither of us had any control of. I was so thankful that I did not have to worry about that expense.
I had spoken to Edmond’s brother one morning and he had made the comment that he would try and sell his car to try and help with the expenses. Although I saw that as a commendable gesture and sacrifice, I also wondered how much would that provide. Did he own a Lexus, or a Pinto? I didn’t know, and I still don’t. And how long would it take to sell a Lexus or a Pinto in South Africa?
In the next week to my amazement and releif there had been a significant amount deposited to the memorial fund, although it was still quite a bit short of what was still needed it was getting closer.
The daily phone calls inquiring as to how much had been raised subsided a bit. Days went by without anymore contributions and I had not heard from Edmond’s brother as to any success in selling his car, I was starting to have my breif moment of hope subside into worry again and that I wouldS to have to consider the possibility that I would not be able to keep the promise and would have to develop plan B.
I started to consider where Edmond’s final resting place might be here in Arizona. I definitly knew he would not be cremated, at least I could keep that part of my promise to him. Although that was important to Edmond, that he not be “burned” as he put it, it was not all that comforting to me to only be able to fullfill that portion of my promise. I kept trying to convince myself that I had done everything that I possibly could have done to keep my promise, but I still could not find any comfort in that.
I spoke to Edmond’s brother in the next day or so and brought him up to speed on the amount that was still needed, he informed me he had not sold his car yet and was still trying to raise money. I suggested that we may have to consider burrying Edmond in Arizona as a back up plan if the funds were not available soon to get him home. He immediately, and rather forcefully demanded that anything short of Edmond being laid to rest in his village next to his father and mother was NOT an option! I was a little taken back by his abrupt, rather demanding insistance, afterall I was the one left to this promise I had made to his brother in a moment of tears, not knowing what I had gotten myself into. And I had not seen any support from anyone from his family or any of the people who called me inquiring as to how much had been raised. I tried to politely explain that if the amount of the funds needed were not met plan B needed to be considered. He would not even acknowledge there is a plan B, so I left it at that. When I hung up I was a little frustrated that he could not recognize that time was running out and the responsible, logical thing to do would be to accept that there was a possibility Edmond would be burried in Arizona despite the efforts to send him home.
We were still about $1600 short of what was needed to send Edmond home and now it was about a month after he had passed. The phone calls inquiring about the funds had all but stopped, I wondered if they had given up on their insistance and hopes to get Edmond home. At this point I had allowed myself to accept that Edmond just might stay here in Arizona and I would have to live with the reality that I was not able to deliver my promise that I had made so easily in a moment of pain and compassion for a man that I had come to love in a short amount of time that I had the honor and priviledge to spend with him. I knew Edmond would understand and know that I had done everthing I could to deliver on my promise, but that still did not ease my feelings of failure to keep my promise.
In the next day or so I had spoken to the funeral home and inquired about a casket and a burrial plot where Edmond might be burried. They informed me that they had their own cemetary and would be able to provide a place for Edmond if that is what was needed.
Praise to the Lord!! I got a call from Edmond’s brother and he had $1300 available to send, I don’t know if that was from the Lexus or the Pinto, but it was welcomed and made a huge dent in what was still needed. Once I informed my men’s group how close we were now everyone got excited that Edmond was going to make it home. In the next few days the remaining $300 came in and we now had the entire amount to send Edmond home to his village to be re-united with his family after decades.
I called Bill in Dallas to inform him that we would be sending Edmond to him so he could make all the arrangements and preparations to send him to Africa, Bill was as excited and happy as I was. He informed me that the funeral home here in Arizona would have to make all of the flight arrangements to get Edmond to Dallas where Bill then could take over, so I called the funeral home to let them also know the funds were now available in full to start the ball rolling and get Edmond home, they were also very happy. They told me that they would start the process immediately, but there would be a $300 cost to get Edmond to Dallas.
I thought that the amount I was given included that, but I was wrong.
This funeral home had gone way over what I would ever expected them to do and were sincerely invested in helping in any way they could, so when they told me that there was an additional $300 that was needed for the flight to Dallas, I was sure it was me that was mistaken.
Okay, now I still need $300 to accomplish this seemingly impossible promise I had made. Seriously $300 is not all that much considering a little over $9000 is where we started. At this time I was in a place financially where we were about to loose our home or have to sell it to avoid loosing it, so needless to say even though $300 was not that much, it was way more than I had available to me.
That Thursday evening when our men’s group meets, everone was asking about Edmond and had he been sent home yet and when would they be holding his services in his village? I sadly informed them that there was a slight mistake on my part and I had overlooked the $300 cost for the flight to Dallas and until I could pay for that Edmond would remain here. Everybody looked around at eachother and then the wallets all came out and in a matter of less than a minute Edmond was going home. The guys in this group had seen the miricles of prayer answered and knew Edmond personally and had been touched by his personality and spirit just as I had been touched and we all loved him like a brother, so was I surprised to see them all pitch in again to insure the promise I had made to Edmond was fullfiled, no, but I knew God had placed them in Edmond’s life just as he had placed me also.
In the next few days there were several documents and information that were required to put this promise into motion. Some of the things required were documents and info. that had to be provided by Edmond’s family in Africa, as they would be the responsible parties to receive him. All of this was taken care of and Edmond was on his way back home, but he would make a breif stop back in Texas for the last time before he would be home again in his village in Africa.
When Bill received Edmond in Dallas, he called me to inform me that the funeral home in Arizona had done such an unbelievably good job with their services that an open casket service in Africa would be no problem. Praise God again, because that is exactly what they had planned to do.
Edmond would be on a flight to Africa in the next few days and would have his wish to be burried with his father and mother fullfiled, only by God’s grace and mercy. There were many people involved in helping me keep my promise, but in all of them and in every circumstance from the moment I rolled down my window and met Edmond that day, to the moment Edmond met Christ face to face, God was in control and using Edmond as well as everyone involved in this life changing story to make his presence, grace, glory and above all love known to all.
Edmond’s story is a chapter in my life that I was blessed to experience, even though it was sad and painful to loose such a dearly loved friend I will always thank God for the oppertunity to experience such an amazing work that He performed through two total strangers that were only able to meet through his prompting from the Spirit to “Roll down your window”
