One day we had Pete Kirby come in and give us a workshop on creative thinkin and he tested us in a number of ways to see how creatively our writing could be as we progressed throughout the day. This is what Nicky Howe and myself produced:
Leaving note
Hi Darren Whittington,
Sorry I left without saying goodbye, but I needed a few weeks to make sure I could secure all of my pending transactions, especially with all of this foreign banking and tax avoiding malarkey. Just writing to say thanks, thank you for all that you've taught me, and thank you for all of your money, properties and assets. I trust that you will understand my motives we're purely financial in this whole game, I have no hard feelings towards you personally and I hope you see this as an opportunity, a fresh start for yourself. Rather than jump to the conclusion that I have 'fucked you over' in some way by utilising your identity to my advantage (as if!).
Kind regards, Darren Whittington
Invent a word
Ruie – (verb) To describe the action of using a spoon with essence of coffee on it to stir a cup of tea, thus ruining it.
Write your own motto
Learn for fun
Write your own manifesto
Unlock life with the shiniest keys
Make sure you eat the finest cheese
Eat ever last one of your peas
Go somewhere hot, you don't need to freeze
Watch out for those bees
Don't live on your knees
Give those boobies a squeeze
Bitch please
Sell me your shoes
Step into my shoes, feel their damaged soul, hardened from a life of abuse. They have been neglected by their owners. They've never had the opportunity of washing, except from being left out in the rain.
With just 3 pounds a month, you can ensure these shoes get the life of happiness they deserve. You're £3 a month goes towards vita polish and cleaning products that are essential to a shoes emotional welfare.
In time their soles can be repaired.
So act now, sponsor a shoe, you will receive regular updates and photos on how your shoe is doing.
A shoe just wants to be loved.
Sell me someone you love
He never shows much emotion, he will forget basically everything, he makes me do multiple trips to the car when we're camping because he's brought so much shit. His appearance completely changes every few months. He's had the same pair of shoes for 5 years. But he's never failed to offer money when I'm in need, he's always humble, never too busy. He's my mate. Dave. Don't buy him.
