Dearest Aquarian,

I’m feeling called to create a dream to honor The Great Conjunction and this new Aquarian world we will soon find ourselves in… and I need your help.

I’d like to collect a few threads from you, which I’ll weave and hold space for until they all wrap themselves together to form a wish of what the world could be like as a love-filled Aquarian dream. Here are the ingredients that would be so helpful: Your voice, expressing truths, threads and seeds that have lived inside of you all your life, which never seemed to fit in this world we've grown up in and which you feel will welcome in love, connection and understanding if manifested into the new world of Aquarius.

The Aquarian Voices

Night Chorus Recording

For most of my life I do feel like I've lived kind of on the outside, I've never really fit in but at the same time I felt really deeply connected to the intricate vastness of all of life. I think as a young person growing up in the world and container I grew up in, I didn't really have a language for how much I really felt and saw and what I traveled through on a daily basis being such a sensitive and aware person. 

Since I was young I had a knowing and a sense that life was so much bigger than what I was being shown by the authorities in my life and I think now the word I would use for what I was feeling is spirit, or energy, and I think that if we could all come into a greater awareness of how spirit really lives here within us and within everything that is around us, we would have a much deeper reverence, respect, and reciprocal relationship with the earth and our bodies and each other, and the sky, and the ocean, and our communities. And I do think we would maybe connect with love in a much more expansive way than we've been taught to know love. So my vision for the future and for the time we're stepping into is that we can all begin to connect more deeply with this intricate and vast world of what is considered to be unseen. 

What is this inner creature/ storm/ feeling

which at once feels 

true and misleading?

I want it gone 

but before it goes, I have some questions

I’m not ready to let go but I know one day I’ll have to be.

This isn’t art, this is practice, which is art which who cares.

If something makes me feel this much

I want to listen even if I know that 

by truly listening, I’ll eventually hear the words

let

it

go

and I’ll be ready. Yeah. Later.

The thing I’m currently stuck on is this:

it’s a person/ but it’s not a person.

it’s the thing in the air 

around that person,

about that person,

goddamnit 

it’s music. It’s my intestines, 

it’s mars, moon, venus and the rest of ‘em -

it’s all the space 

inside my mouth.

But even though it is associated with a person, 

it’s not a person.

And now yes, 

I feel I should mention

it’s procrastination indulgence obsession

dissociation avoidance and worst of all, pretending.

Oh right

also sabotage.

The thing is

don’t wait for later

don’t

wait

for 

later

HI you’re right here right now hello hiiii

there’s music here

and children’s voices.

But what you feel / part of what you feel

is resistance/oh

it’s so big

I can’t see over around or through it

I feel the resistance 

and it’s not making the world a better place and

or is it? Can it? experts say doubtful.

It’s in my gut, good sign!

But also inner thighs -

sounds slippery, doesn’t it. 

So is that it? Just another stupid distracting fixation? Why can’t I breathe right?

It’s so big and so little / so deep and so shallow / so the same and so different

so easy 

and so not.

There’s a trick, I guess it’s a good one

returning to one’s senses.

Or, if that’s triggering for you (it’s not for me)

returning to one’s surroundings.

Mindfullness. 

Mind Full Ness

I get that I misspelled it 

I get this isn’t profound

What is the role of romantic chemistry in ego dissolution?

I have the feeling I’m doing it wrong. 

Dear Paper,

I think what I’m asking is for you to be a shitty friend.

To leap from mashed up dismemberment and inanimacy,

to show a sign 

that I should run/ or jump/ or sink/ or shake 

like a smaller-brained mammal might when they feel too much

or have rabies.

O Dear Trees 

who have fallen so these words could be haphazardly released,

your sense of time and place,

your gross transformation

may be the best teachers at the moment.

Heather Daniels Pusey

I’ve felt deeply connected to everything from the moment I was born. But I don’t know any other way. And I hope in this new time, this new place, this new spiral, this new circle, this new turn around the wheel, this new age… I hope others can feel that connection too. I hope everyone can feel that web. The tugs on it. The whispers through it. The love within it. Sure, there’s fear and survival. There’s panic. There’s the unknown. But we’re all in it together. In our different ways, in our different realities. But we’re all in it together. Here, in this web. May we all feel deeply together, in time.

This is for those who know the feeling,
that is the unbearable pang in your heart
and pit in your stomach.
Of the desire, the need, to share your world.
To let all of the joy and beauty and energy you possess Burst out and envelope another.
To share your very core and unleash
the overwhelming amount of love you have to give.
So much to give that it takes your breath away.
At times revealing itself

in uncontrollable sobs and choking breath. Too much to bear--
And although it is unbearable
We must keep our lights shining

And continue to recognize it in ourselves And in each other.
It’s far too beautiful to let it extinguish.

Music

Campfire by Alex Sommers, slowed to the pace of calm ocean waves.

Visuals

Foraged in Pexels, with two threads by Maribeth Helen.