Freefall is yet another surrealistic piece that is personally connected to my journey as a young adult. This work represents grief for all dreams and expectations that I failed to exeed (so far).
In 2022, I had become very comfortable with my life. I held a secure but unfulfilling job at one of the biggest corporate motion graphic studios. The pay was okay, but it wasn't the best. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't miserable either. I had an old, overpriced apartment in the middle of San Francisco – not the best, but at least it wasn't infested with rodents or black mold. My friendships were likable, but they only scratched the surface of true affection.
I guess I've been in this limbo for a while, hanging between good and bad and settling for mediocrity, only to find myself yearning for a better life. I wanted to step out of my comfort zone and make more of myself, to become brave enough to be more than a yes man, more than just some unrecognized, underachieved, and starving artist.
I kept thinking, next year would be different. I would be a better person, achieve greater things, and go far – because how could I not? Everyone who met me and saw my art would predict great success for me. Yet, here I am, feeling like I'm drifting away and slowly accepting the loss of my ambitious visions.
This piece was completed yesterday, as of December 4, 2023. It's been a little over a year since I got myself into this limbo, and since then, things have gotten even worse.
I went through layoffs and was genuinely happy to be out of the job, even with a petty severance package. I tried starting a branding agency, only to encounter another failure and realize that my dreams are being postponed to the next year's resolution list.
So, in this artwork, the fall symbolizes the loss of control I am slowly witnessing. It's the disappointment and grief that I have surrounded myself with.
I know that all things in life are temporary, and one day I will find myself okay and doing great. Maybe next week, I will get my act together and figure out how to move forward. But today, I feel no floor under my feet, falling back to square zero.
