If you have so much to be thankful for
Then why are you crying about something so little?
Why do you believe
Everything you touch turns into pain
When love is right in front of your eyes?
You think that you’re incapable of being happy
That you’re unlovable.
But really,
You’re just pushing everyone away,
because you’re afraid of getting hurt.
Again.
You’ve never felt something like this
So you try to find as many excuses
To get out of it
As there is to stay in it.
You KNOW it doesn’t know what’s best for you,
So why, oh why do you keep listening?
Stop twisting it with thoughts of your own.
Stop giving it any meaning.
How can you forget so much of what’s hurt you
While still carrying so much of that same pain?
Just.
Breathe.
Ignore,
Ignore.
Ignore.
Deep.
Breaths.
Why?
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Why do we tear ourselves down
Over,
And over,
And over again?
We reopen the same wounds again,
And again,
And again.
Is it just to feel something?
I thought we were happy?
No, I KNOW we are happy.
I think I’m the happiest I’ve ever been?
So why is there such dissonance?
How can I feel so happy one second,
And feel such a strong urge to plug up my eyes the next?
How can I cry so much about something
That I claim makes me so… happy?
It … it just won’t stop?
Why won’t it stop?
If happiness is simply a state of being,
Then why is it so difficult to just … be?
Is it supposed to be this difficult?
It used to feel so easy before.
I think I think too much.
I think I feel too much.
I honestly think that
If I lost some of that,
There’s a chance it would do me some good?
But then what’s the point?
Just let your guard down.
Please.
It’s not this hard.
It shouldn’t be this hard.
Just let yourself be vulnerable.
Just let yourself be happy.
Just let your guard down.
Just stop underestimating yourself.
If you’re going to cry about it,
At least smile while doing so.
