I’ve been dragging my heart behind me 

Its heavy and wrapped wrapped up in chains

These chains are covered in blood

This blood is staining my sand 

Nourishing my ground 

I keep looking back down at my heart

Sometimes I steal glances around , looking for you

I try not let anybody notice 

 

"Your fear is contagious " 

I said 

And I fear everyone brave enough to love me

Brave enough to tell me I'm beautiful 

 

I've tried everything ,you know 

I've tried everything I know

Yet I still hear echos of our story in the blinding silence 

 

I wait for those echos

And I make sure nobody knows so that they don't make a sound

 

You haven't made up your mind

And I haven't picked up my heart yet

Nobody is winning

And nobody is wrong

Yet its nobody's fault and mine. 

 

Your fear is contagious 

I hold back even when I'm vulnerable 

And I thought it was strength 

 

my voice shaken and dimmed 

In the hopes of finding the distant echo of your sigh

 

I need to pick up my heart 

I need to stop crying in silence 

I need to stop burying my feet in the sand 

I need to stop worrying about the blood stains on the ground 

 

And that's what I need

I don't need you, and I say this with my bleeding heart trembling in the cold chains 

I claim this in disbelief 

So I need to believe 

 

 

I'm trying not to wait for you. I'm picking my heart up 

I'm sorry if I'm not brave enough to love you in this hectic wait 

I'm sorry you're not brave enough to love me in this thick air

 

I'm not the butterfly with the broken wing under the mercy of your helpless love and augmented freedom 

 

I'm a human being, made with flesh and bones and a heart in a chain leaving a trail of blood in awe of any love but yours.