I have this voice inside my head, just like many others. This dominant, vicious voice that tells me I'm no good. That I should give up, or shouldn't even try to begin with because there is no place for me in this world. As an artist, as a friend, as a human. Sometimes it makes me lose the plot to my own story. Sometimes it takes full control over me. Makes my heart lurch, my body freeze. My mind goes blank and submits to it. Sometimes I sit and wonder. Where does this voice come from? 

It comes from the fear of not being good enough and low self-confidence. A place where there is only darkness and pain. I give people too much power over me. Anything they say plays in a constant loop in my head until it becomes my own voice. The tentacles represent all the things that were said to me, that I have internalized. They're mostly from my parents, best friend and ex-partner.

But there are times where I can see the light. A realization that tells me that this isn't my own voice. That I don't belong in this darkness. There are much greater places in store for me. I began to notice the patters of self-sabotage. Times when I would make myself small and let others take up my space. When I wouldn't stand up for myself. That made me realize how unfair I was being to myself. My inner child. A young child who heard such terrible words and did not deserve any of this. So I made a choice. A choice to fight this voice. To stand up to it. To challenge it and shush it. To believe more in myself. To let go and just breathe. It is quite tempting to slip back into the darkness. But like I said before, I don't and never did belong in this darkness.