This is a project specially made for myself. It is a combination of reflections at the age of 20 and the best images of my recent trip to Dalat. It highlights the inner thoughts of a dynamic and extroverted person. I hope that like-minded people will understand me. Thanks for trying
Since high school, Vinh Dat has always been a person who likes to reflect on himself. Vinh Dat does this because it is part of his perfectionism that is always present in him. Vinh Dat always wants to know where he is in life, on the path of development and "what he is doing". About every week that passes, Vinh Dat spends time alone, be it on the balcony, in the kitchen, before sleeping or even somewhere strange on the street to review himself. For Vinh Dat, reflecting on myself or reflecting on problems and talking to my ego is what makes me feel safe and on the right track.
However, since going to University, Vinh Dat's self-reflection time has decreased gradually. Instead it's time for fun, friends or even short videos on youtube and facebook.
Vinh Dat didn't really realize it until recent days, after spending too much time on useless things and satisfying his own interests. There were nights when Vinh Dat spent all his time but didn't have any emotions for fun with "friends".
At 7 pm, I am still sitting at Chuk Chuk cafe with Thao, discussing Marketing and love together. At 12 o'clock at night, I sat with Phuc Am in front of GS25, ate a portion of canned noodles, drank a can of Redbull, smoked the remaining 2 cigarettes and discussed real estate. At 2 a.m., I sit in an old-fashioned apartment building with a Chinese vibe in 1990, eating a bowl of rice with Zi Tank.
At this time, I asked Zi Tank's father for a cigarette and went to the balcony to sit. The efforts, the forced smiles are gradually replaced by thoughts about yourself. Questions are gradually raised: "Why am I here?", "Why don't I go home to sleep?", "Why do I spend so much time in these relationships?", "Doing work." How can I live my life the way I want?
I suddenly felt heartbroken, felt guilty for myself. I continuously smoked to block the flow of emotions, watched the white smoke rise into the air and wished to get rid of these efforts. So in the end, what are your daily efforts for? Why do I keep trying? And should I continue to force myself?
The cigarette gradually shortened, the cigarette butts flew with the wind on the 3rd floor, I rubbed my eyes, extinguished the cigarette, returned to the house and continued to put on my smile. I didn't come home that night, I shared 3 marijuana cigarettes with Zi Tank and passed out on the floor. Although THC spreading in my brain makes me high, I still can't stop thinking. Then Vinh Dat hugged those thoughts and went to sleep.
This is just the story of a somewhat ordinary day for Vinh Dat, there have always been and will continue to have such days. Vinh Dat days trying to please everyone, trying to be a social person and always ready to connect. But I firmly believe that, one day not far in the future, Vinh Dat will give up everything and live true to himself.
From then on, I can see that such reflections are also worth it. It helps Vinh Dat realize his efforts and the true nature of his emotions. Surely in the future, Vinh Dat will still have to try a lot, will still have to be forced. But those are necessary, try to Vinh Dat.
27.04.2022
