The Blurred Lines. To Be or Not to Be.
I want to believe everyone has some kind of boundary. Written or unwritten, they are principles guiding every relationship we have in life. Colleagues, family, friends, acquaintances, business partners, clients. Each of these relationships exists with different approaches and rules of engagement, it is what makes each unique and distinct. In my opinion, all of these can be summarized into one word, ‘access’. The access a colleague has to my life isn’t the same as a best friend would have and vice versa.
The Line Becomes Blurry
I know life isn’t a job, but we cannot deny the fact that people in our lives can be promoted from a lower level of access to a higher level, they may also be demoted too depending on each individual circumstances. The promotion comes easy most times, I mean, who doesn’t like going up the ladder? As long as it’s a figurative ladder though. Where lines of ‘don’ts, are gradually blurred into invisibility and ‘dos’ become the order of the day. When “We can talk whenever you’re free” replaces, “you shouldn’t be calling me at this time”. The stranger you met two weeks ago becomes a friend you talk to once in a while, then consistently. The unfamiliar voice eventually becomes a constant melody to your ears, the first you hear each morning and the one that sends you off to dreamland at night.
When it comes to that point, the lines meant to be a protection, a divisor setting the stringent boundaries, become blurred. They may not cease to exist in totality but the room suddenly becomes bigger, you can accommodate things and you can be vulnerable too. Here, there are little or no bars, the lines of unfamiliarity and low-level clearance become blurred. Simply put, there’s topmost access.
Insecurities are brought out in the open, fears are talked about and thrashed, hands are held together in the solemn declaration of promises and lips begin to affirm the heartfelt emotions. Time goes by so fast, you see how far you’ve come but you really did not take notice and that’s fine, enjoy it. Preparations are made to be a better fit for each other, and discussions about the future together are taken beyond the secret place. The necessary authorities are alerted, vertically and horizontally. You are both waiting for it to all come together, but while waiting you think it wise to go back and make sure all necessary boxes are checked.
Love, check.
Convictions, check.
Compatibility, check.
Consent, check.
Friendship, check.
Genotype, check.
Compatibility, check.
Consent, check.
Friendship, check.
Genotype, check.
To be or not to be?
Oh, wait. Just to be very sure, you both decide to go back and check the genotype again because you’re relying on the test from childhood. When the results come in you’re extremely shocked, your eyes are blurry and the lines of text are so difficult to assimilate. Your world comes crashing down almost immediately. You realize you’ve been living a lie, not by choice but because someone in haste, refused to do their job meticulously. So you lived with a false reality and now you have to pay for it with your life, with your lines.
The once blurred lines have to become sharpened again, the invisible traces have to become bold, and the clearance level has to be lowered. You then realize that blurring a line may be so easy a process, sometimes there’s not so much to lose, but sharpening them would literally mean ripping your heart apart. For every line to be reconstructed, for every bar to be put back up, you lose a part of yourself. Reverse psychology comes into play because you sew in joy but rip in tears.
After counting the cost, you get to ask yourself the one question that would determine your next course of action: the blurred lines, to be or not to be?
THE REAL STORY
Love is a beautiful thing and every human being ought to experience it in its purest and most genuine form. It's even more beautiful when two persons who have found this love seek to spend a lifetime of commitment together in marriage!
Of many things that may thwart the fulfilment of this joy, genotype incompatibility stands with its head high in the crowd.
As is common knowledge to most, not all genotypes are compatible for the recreation of healthy human life. It is always advisable for intending partners to know their genotype before getting married.
A friend recently told me about a couple he knows personally and I'm going to call them Harry and Linda (pseudonyms). Harry and Linda had been dating for quite a while and were both educated on the subject of blood group and genotype compatibility. They both knew their genotypes based on the test results from the previous years. According to these results, they passed the genotype compatibility test so marriage preparations were set in motion. Both their parents, friends and spiritual authorities were informed and indulged them in the procedures involved to officially tie the knot.
One of such procedures was a recent compulsory genotype test to be taken at the time. Harry and Linda knowing their genotypes, had nothing to fear so they willingly took the test. Now here comes the surprise -Linda's test result came out and it was different from the previous test result she had. The heart-shattering part was that her actual genotype was incompatible with Harry's. They both were in shock, and left at a crossroad.
No one deserves to be in such situation, ever. Errors in genotype testing occurs, and can be checked.
The Real Issue: Genotype Testing
Disclaimer: Refer to your doctor for proper medical advice.
Genotype is simply the genetic constitution of an individual. While some people may be less educated on the subject, especially in Africa, it is also very common for errors to occur in the process of genotype testing.
There are two types of genotype testing: hemoglobin electrophoresis (the commonest method) and hemoglobin chromatography (the sophisticated method). Expert suggests that couples who intend to get married should opt for the chromatography tests as it eliminates to a high percentage, chances of error in genotype testing.
You can decide to learn more and educate others on the subject of compatibility testing and the importance of doing it the right way, free of errors.
I'm rooting for you sweetheart!
