As a single mother, you may find yourself blaming yourself for the situation that you are in. You may be blaming yourself for not being there enough for your kids or not being a good enough parent. These thoughts can be very destructive to how you view yourself and how much you love yourself. We hear you, and we want to give you some tips on how to shift your mindset and love yourself.

First, it’s important to internalize the message that no one is perfect, even single mothers who seem to be a superhero from their kids’ perspective. You are trying your best and no one can expect any more. You are raising your children on your own with very little or no support from anyone. Take that in. You’re doing one of the world’s hardest jobs (in addition to the jobs you may have)!

It can often be hard to love yourself because you tend to put aside what you want and instead focus on what your kids want. Everyone expects mothers to sacrifice themselves for their kids, but this doesn't necessarily need to be the case. You can still meet your kids’ needs while also valuing your own time and needs.

Try to look back at all the good things and success that you’ve had in raising your kids. Times you’ve been there for them and made sure they got what they needed. Then try to remember these times whenever you start to doubt yourself and your abilities to be a mother.

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In the absence of having a partner to help raise children, some single mothers find it easier to connect with their children and make a strong bond with them. However, there are some parents who struggle to connect with them for many reasons, whether that is due to not having enough time or the emotional readiness to do so. In this blog post, we will share some tips for those of you who are struggling to create a meaningful relationship with your children.

First, make sure that you listen to their thoughts and talk to them in a non-judgemental way. Children often feel that their parents don’t understand their struggles, so by showing them that you are there to listen to them no matter what and that you are not judging them for what they want to share, they will be much more likely to connect with you.

Also, try to take interest in their passions. If your child loves sports, try to join in with them as much as you can or at least try to support them when they are playing. This lets them know that what they love is important to you and that you want to be a part of whatever they like. It’s also important to allow them to develop their own interests, rather than forcing or pressuring them to adopt the same interests as you.

Acknowledge your child’s feelings when they vent to you or confide in you. They are trusting you with their secrets and are being vulnerable around you, so having someone validate their experiences and emotions is monumental in developing a strong bond. The last thing that your child wants is to feel as though you don’t care about their life or that you don’t believe their emotions are valid.

Finally, an often-forgotten tip is to use technology to your benefit. Social messaging apps will allow you to keep in touch with your child when it may be hard to. However, try not to overdo it on the comments of their posts, which may be embarrassing and further alienate you from them.

At the end of the day, the most effective way to bond with your children is to be a good parent and support their journey towards independence.

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When we first enter into a relationship, we typically truly believe that it will last forever. This explains why we are so devastated if it ends. Oftentimes, your other half is now gone from your life and that is a significant loss. While the breakup is hard on both people, it is especially hard on mothers who are tasked with the responsibility of taking care of the kids. Let’s talk about the main stages of a breakup, to help you get through them no matter what stage you may currently be in.

The first stage is denial and loneliness, where a person may deny that the breakup even happened. They may fear being alone so they may convince themselves that they are still committed to their ex-partner.

The next stage is anger, where the partners may feel anger towards each other and sometimes even take this anger out on other people. They may blame each other for the breakup. Oftentimes, the anger is actually hiding a feeling of sadness.

The third stage is depression. At this point the ex-partners may feel helpless and not want to do anything. They may not eat or sleep properly and will fall into a  period of despair.

The last stage is acceptance, where the decision to breakup has been cemented and the people realize that the relationship is over. They accept that there is no going back and there is no point worrying over something that is in the past.

If you are in any of these stages, the most important step to recovery is to be kind to yourself. This means that you should realize you are going through a major life change that is hard to deal with. Being kind to yourself also means that you get the help that you need, whether it is professional help from a therapist, or support from your friends to just talk. Also, try not to blame the other person for the breakup, as this will do more harm than good. Instead, it may be the case that no one is to blame and it just wasn’t the right time. Finally, try to incorporate healthy coping mechanisms, whether that is exercise, meditation, or journaling. Find what works for you and stick to a routine that keeps you distracted from thinking about the breakup. Remember, this is just temporary and you will get over it!

With such a busy life, single mothers barely find time to take care of themselves and make meaningful relationships with others. They are often so focussed on necessities such as putting food on the table that they forget that friendships are also very important to a person’s overall health. What’s more is that there are many roadblocks that come in the way of single mothers making friendships easily. 

One of the roadblocks is opportunity; single mothers often have very strict schedules consisting of work, dropping off kids to school, chores, and daycare. It’s hard to deviate from this schedule because of all the responsibilities they have, so they barely get a chance to go out and make friends. This is related to another roadblock, which is time. Work and childcare take up the majority of a single mother’s time so she doesn’t have time to go out. The last major roadblock is singleness. Single mothers may find it hard to make friends because other mothers, especially married ones, may judge them for being single. They may not want to talk to them or get to know them. All of these barriers together make it extremely hard to find friends, something that is very important for a healthy lifestyle.

You may be wondering how you could possibly get past these barriers, but there is hope! First, try to identify situations in your everyday life where you regularly meet people. It can be the most surprising places where you make friends, so perhaps you can make friends with the people from your workplace, or with other parents at the daycare. Bring up the courage to introduce yourself, instead of just saying “hello” and “bye.” Then, you can schedule a time to hang out with them that works for both people’s schedules. For example, you could take your kids on a playdate with another parent’s children from the daycare. Just try to keep a positive mindset and be yourself!

Remember, although you may be tempted to ignore the importance of having quality friendships, they are one of the most important sources of support and happiness in most people’s lives!

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In addition to the everyday stressors that everyone faces, single mothers have to deal with plenty of other stressors that are unique to their situation. This doesn’t help, because they have a lot more responsibilities than a dual-parent household. This is why we think that this blog post will help so many single mothers with a very prevalent issue.

How each mother deals with her stress will differ because there are so many different ways to destress. However, we will offer some of the most common ones so that you can try them out and see which ones work for you. If there are some ways that we did not mention, feel free to comment (maybe someone will benefit from your comment!).

One way that we’re sure you’ve heard many times but that is very important is to manage your breathing. Taking deep and slow breaths allows us to be less tired and anxious. When we are stressed, we tend to lose control of our breathing which makes the problem even worse. In the moment you are stressed, try to focus all your attention on your breathing so that you can calm yourself down before tackling the problem.

Also, try not to let problems fester, which means that you should try to deal with problems as they arise. Don’t procrastinate because that usually makes small problems that could have easily been dealt with into a large problem that takes significant time and stress to deal with. Planning a routine may also help with this. For example, you could dedicate a certain day for laundry so that you don’t forget it until there is a huge pile.

Another way to destress is to get out of the house. Fresh air makes us feel alive and happy. A bonus would be to get your kids involved with your hobbies too! Take them for a walk. This gives you a chance to both spend some quality time with them and take care of yourself.

Finally, focus on the outcome, not the steps and struggles to get there. Remember how great it will feel when you finally accomplish your goals, and this will help you minimize how stressed you feel when things don’t go completely your way.

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One of the biggest struggles that single mothers, and single parents in general, face is keeping money in their pockets. In other words, saving money to spend on essentials or even leisure activities for both their kids and themselves. There are a lot of small, easy changes that you can make so that it is easier for you to have some extra spending or saving money every month.

Something that you could do is to unplug non-essential electronics when they are not being used, and only turn on lights when natural light truly isn’t enough. These small changes can reduce the amount of money you pay for your power bill and redirect that money to more important payments.

You could also create a high-interest savings account from online-only banks. With a little bit of research on Google, you could find an account that has low fees and high-interest. Overtime, your money will grow and you will be able to save up for bigger purchases.

Monthly spending budget sheets are also very useful to control spending. By keeping track of where your money goes each month, you can identify areas that need the most improvement. For example, you may find that you are spending too much on clothing (much more than you actually need to). Reducing the amount you spend on clothing could allow you to have more money to pay for essentials such as childcare and food, or save up for the future.

We all tend to get bored of the food that we have at home and prefer to eat out, but eating out can be one of the biggest sources of spending each month. If you were to eat before going out, you’re less likely to get hungry and want to spend money on expensive food.

Finally, make sure to cut off subscriptions that you are not using or that you think are too overpriced for what you get. Monthly subscriptions may not seem like much, but if you calculate what they cost you per year, you will quickly realize how much they can add up to. What’s more is that prices are consistently and gradually increasing, so a subscription that was originally at a reasonable price may no longer be worth it.

While there are plenty of other ways to save money, these small changes will make drastic changes to your financial situation.

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