I've had a few very tough weeks recently, and had a lot of bottled up emotions, which obviously all spilled out one night. During the emotional breakdown, i had an idea to illustrate my feelings.

The illustration started out as a bunch of shapes and colour, but then a character popped into my head; i've never been good at character design, but i always loved it, so i decided to illustrate this character with the hope it would help me to process my emotions (which it did). Turns out that i was actually really pleased with the character i designed, so i posted it on instagram.

When i first illustrated Squishy, i was feeling very run down, sad, and just kind of empty. My partner has always been a massive support in my life, so rather than giving Squishy a dark background with no light, i decided to add the sun. The world around Squishy is bright; he doesn't always see the things around him, but he can always see the sun.

A few days after i posted Sad Squishy, i was feeling a bit better, and wanted to show my followers (the few i have) that i'm okay, so i illustrated Squishy again, this time chasing a butterfly.

Squishy has found joy in chasing that butterfly, he's still not 100% happy, but in that moment, he is happier, therefore, he is now purple. I wanted Squishy to be able to change colour depending on how he feels; purple has blue undertones (the sadness he still feels) mixed with a pink / red, which demonstrates the love that is starting to fill that hole he felt.

I chose to have Squishy chasing a butterfly because they're small, and beautiful; the butterfly represents the small and beautiful things in life that make us happy, even if it's just a little bit, because in my mind, it is the small and beautiful things that make us the happiest. 

My most recent illustration of Squishy is of him sleeping. When he is asleep, Squishy is white, with a pink undertone, this is to demonstrate the love, and peacefulness he feels when he's asleep. Usually i would use blue to demonstrate peacefulness, but in this case aesthetically, the pink worked better with the white.

Squishy helps me to process my emotions and how i feel; my hope, is that he can help others process their emotions too, even if he encourages them to draw their own version of Squishy, their own character to personify their feelings, then at least i'm helping someone.

I've always been an emotional person, i've been bullied for crying over things they've classed as silly, and i don't want anyone else to feel like they can't cry because they'll be made fun of, or because it's silly to cry over that. I plan to continue drawing Squishy, not only for my own mental health, but in the hope he will help someone else too.