I was pretty low yesterday. And by low, I meant sad. I'm doubting myself and my art. I feel like I'm a fraud, as if I think deep down inside that I'm not good enough for people to notice my art.
I have this attitude where whenever I start thinking like this, I end up not finishing anything and I'll just forget about my idea--- That once, really good idea that got me up early and excited in the morning, no it makes me doubt myself---and start feeling gloomy. But I thought, no, I will continue and I will keep pushing myself.
All those amazing artists I look up to, they didn't end up where they are now if they had given up. they kept pushing and so will I.
So, I kept pushing. Every time I'd look at my artwork and think "This is crappy" "no one will look at this" I will think back to myself and say That's not true. Not everyone can pick up a brush and start painting. They can but not everyone who does has the same outcome.
Now, this outcome might not be how it was in my head but still I made it. I created it. I painted it.
I think it's better to say "I did it!" rather than "I should've done it."
At least, there are no regrets.
So, I'm going to keep painting even if no one notices. I'm going to keep expressing myself. I'm going to keep pushing. I'm always going to pick up my brushes and sketchpads or canvases and paint. I'm painting for me.
Final
