A postage stamp designed to correspond with the written letter in which a cigarette replaces the Grim Reaper's scythe as his preferred weapon.
This letter, written by the Grim Reaper, serves as a thank you note to the Altria Group for making the Reaper's job easier. Although the letter is playful and sarcastic, its content has very serious connotations.
By using actual cigarettes as a vehicle for the letter, the reader is confronted with the overwhelming smell of tobacco and is forced to participate in the act of rolling the cigarette as they unravel the scroll to read it.
The Letter:
Dear Altria Group,
I’ve been watchingyou for a while now, and I must say… I like the way you think. You, sirs, aremasters of business, and by business, of course, I mean death. Believe me, Iwould know. You don’t get where I’ve gotten without knowing a thing or twoabout expiration. And I’ve gotta hand it to you, you’ve got talent. Over 400,000 deaths a year? One hundred million deaths last century? Bra-vo!I mean, seriously. The things you do with tobacco… Man! I wish I was that clever!
Sure, you’ve gotcigarettes (and, don’t get me wrong, almost 5,000 deadly chemicals in onelittle stick is nothing to scoff at), but YOU are some tricky bastards! Light up one of those things, and yougot what’s comin’ to ya (after all, they don’t call ‘em “cancer sticks” fornothin’). But stand next to one, and you might as well besmoking! Just breathing it in causes almost 3,500 lung cancer deaths and 46,000heart disease deaths a year. And that’s for adults who don’t even smoke! But,hey, let’s not forget about the kids. Kudos on the hundreds of thousands ofrespiratory infections, thousands of hospitalizations, and hundreds of suddeninfant deaths caused by secondhand smoke each year. I couldn’t have done itbetter myself. By the way, congratulations on having secondhand smokeclassified as a human carcinogen by the EPA. Beautiful thing, that cancer! Andyour products cause all kinds of it. Lung cancer. Throat cancer. Stomachcancer. The list goes on and on. Then, of course, there’s other diseases too.Leukemia. Pneumonia. Bronchitis. Sickness… you gotta love it. Slow. Painful.Fun. It’s really the only way to go. Seems like your specialty, too.
You boys sure knowwhat you’re doin’. Number one on the list of preventable deaths in the U.S.? Huge accomplishment. You’d thinkpeople’d stay away from something so deadly, but you guys are great. Masters ofmanipulation! Over 35 million dollarsa year spent on advertising must be doing something right. Reel ‘em in with apretty picture, make ‘em think they’re cool, and you’ve got ‘em for life(which, thanks to you guys, won’t even be that long). That’s the beauty of addiction, eh? Once you pick it up, itaint so easy to put it back down again. One tiny little death warrant after another,and it’s practically written on every cigarette. Of course, people don’t see itunless it’s all laid out in front of ‘em. And by then, it’s too late!
Anyway, what am Irambling about? You guys know exactlywhat you’re doing. Just wanted to say thanks for doing all the dirty work forme.
Yourstruly,
GrimReaper
Dear Altria Group,
I’ve been watchingyou for a while now, and I must say… I like the way you think. You, sirs, aremasters of business, and by business, of course, I mean death. Believe me, Iwould know. You don’t get where I’ve gotten without knowing a thing or twoabout expiration. And I’ve gotta hand it to you, you’ve got talent. Over 400,000 deaths a year? One hundred million deaths last century? Bra-vo!I mean, seriously. The things you do with tobacco… Man! I wish I was that clever!
Sure, you’ve gotcigarettes (and, don’t get me wrong, almost 5,000 deadly chemicals in onelittle stick is nothing to scoff at), but YOU are some tricky bastards! Light up one of those things, and yougot what’s comin’ to ya (after all, they don’t call ‘em “cancer sticks” fornothin’). But stand next to one, and you might as well besmoking! Just breathing it in causes almost 3,500 lung cancer deaths and 46,000heart disease deaths a year. And that’s for adults who don’t even smoke! But,hey, let’s not forget about the kids. Kudos on the hundreds of thousands ofrespiratory infections, thousands of hospitalizations, and hundreds of suddeninfant deaths caused by secondhand smoke each year. I couldn’t have done itbetter myself. By the way, congratulations on having secondhand smokeclassified as a human carcinogen by the EPA. Beautiful thing, that cancer! Andyour products cause all kinds of it. Lung cancer. Throat cancer. Stomachcancer. The list goes on and on. Then, of course, there’s other diseases too.Leukemia. Pneumonia. Bronchitis. Sickness… you gotta love it. Slow. Painful.Fun. It’s really the only way to go. Seems like your specialty, too.
You boys sure knowwhat you’re doin’. Number one on the list of preventable deaths in the U.S.? Huge accomplishment. You’d thinkpeople’d stay away from something so deadly, but you guys are great. Masters ofmanipulation! Over 35 million dollarsa year spent on advertising must be doing something right. Reel ‘em in with apretty picture, make ‘em think they’re cool, and you’ve got ‘em for life(which, thanks to you guys, won’t even be that long). That’s the beauty of addiction, eh? Once you pick it up, itaint so easy to put it back down again. One tiny little death warrant after another,and it’s practically written on every cigarette. Of course, people don’t see itunless it’s all laid out in front of ‘em. And by then, it’s too late!
Anyway, what am Irambling about? You guys know exactlywhat you’re doing. Just wanted to say thanks for doing all the dirty work forme.
Yourstruly,
GrimReaper
