- This site aggregates my digital properties. But also, it's a collection of stories - with strict rules. Each story must:
use each letter of the link name, in order, to make a subtitle for the story; use the link name in the story; be short.
- TUMBLR or,
The urban mess blooms less regularly
He walked through cities from bordr to bordr to bordr laying sprinklrs down the centr of sidewalks. Streams of
watr sprayed out from each unit making biggr and smallr alternating arcs, pattring on New Yorkrs then taxis, New Yorkrs then taxis. Somewhere around east 23rd and 3rd a crowd rallied, closing in on the wandrr. But he wasn’t consrned; aftr all, he was not only a farmr, but a professional tumblr too.
- COMPANY or,
Camping on Mars? Pack a nice yeti.
She strained to hear through the winds of the dust storm outside. A massive form could be seen sitting just to the left of the tent door, but it wasn’t making any noise. The girl had been rushed while packing for this trip, and in her haste, had grabbed the wrong yeti for company. The one she meant to bring had long, red fur like the planet outside and loved trail mix even more than other yetis, which was a considerable amount. And it laughed at all her jokes. But not this one. This one had white fur that tangled easily. And it preferred long walks instead of the short jaunts the red one liked. Taking a handful of mix – the kind with the smarties, even – she sighed and unzipped the door. It was a long weekend and she was damned if they weren’t going to make the best of it.
- TINY STORIES or,
Twenty inches nearer, your stubby toes orbit Ruth’s itchy eye sockets
The building was composed of many tiny stories; each floor was ½ the height of that of a standard apartment building. If you weren’t mindful and stretched too far, you could easily end up in your neighbour’s front hallway. The living situation wasn’t for everyone, but then again, there was never any dust on the floors and the rent wasn’t very high.
- TWITTER or,
The way it tastes tells everything, really
The man sat across from the woman with the red hair. She was in a twitter, praising him for his efforts. He had made dinner tonight: rosemary meatloaf with a sugar crust – her specialty. He wanted to do something for her and to enjoy it. But every moment spent squishing meat through his fingers was a moment not spent reading. Or looking out the window. When she made the meatloaf, she baked it in a heart-shaped tin. And made 30 loaves. To give to the orphans. Every Sunday. And most Mondays. He served her from the regular, rectangular tin. The only thing she loved more than mankind was this man. He loved solitude. The woman smiled. He frowned into his napkin, then tried the sugarcoated loaf. It was bitter.
- POSTEROUS or,
Put on screensavers; the effulgence really oughtta uncover shadows
Preinternet, laptops hung from wall sconces to warm the room with their glow. Back then, assigning a single colour to a wall was preposterous; screensavers were the superior form of paint, easily switched up according to mood, brightness, and battery power.
- WORK or,
Wrong or right kite
He’s never spoken. Instead he carries 2 kites: one with ‘wrong’ printed on it, the other, ‘right’. Before, he’d converse by letting go of a kite. Non-windy days were more work since he had run for a bit with his answer flapping behind him. On those days the conversations were quite short on account of him running away all the time. Now, in old age, when the wind is still it’s hard to know what’s he’s thinking.
- LINKED IN or,
Left in night knowing every detail, it needles
The place was thriving before the mother-in-law plant got there. Now there was more brown. The mother-in-law’s tongue sat on a small corner table where it could oversee much of the apartment. At night, plants would walk back and forth to be linked in to each other’s roots. But the tongue was always reminding the monstera about its posture, and harping on how a healthy, self-respecting spider plant should have more growth. It fussed with the prayer plant, and basically told the jade how to photosynthesize. Over time the plants travelled less and instead started a dust collection. Sometimes the tongue would wilt a little just to see if anyone noticed. They didn’t. And they all called her “snake plant”.
- DATA or,
Don’t attack the airborne
Mid-jump was the only safe place. Once a track member cleared the hurdles, they were fair game for the football team. Harsh? Maybe. But there’s no disputing the data: that year the track team set 2 new high jump records and raced the fastest hurdles in 4 provinces.