Subliminal Sarcasm with The GIMP
If you want to say it plainly, say it right between the lines!
If you want to say it plainly, say it right between the lines!
I know, I know. You're asking youself, "Self, where does this creative genius come up with all these alsolutely fabulous ideas?" Well, the come from my paleomammalian brain, or limbic system, comprising my hippocampus, amygdalae, anterior thalamic nuclei, septum, limbic cortex and fornix (a.k.a. "Lizard Brain").
These ticket stubs are completely fake. i started with a clip art of some old Country Music Awards ticket stubs and made them look like I had gotten comp'd tics to a Beyone concert. Beyonce is my significant other's fave and she posted these on her Facebook page to impress (e.g.,make them jealous) her friends (who also adore Beyonce).
I know Jesus loves me but i just want to be friends. Note Kim Kardashian starring as Mary Magdaline. I needed a Middle-Eastern chick? Who else could i get for the role?
News Flash! Bruno Mars' jubblies finally descend - voice drops two octaves!
Mikey and Chuckie celebrate St Patrick's day. Who was that guy in the white dress anyay? He drank all night and never bought a round. (Mike O'Malley is my oldest friend and in Boston, the custom is to call grown men by boy's names. So he is Mikey and I am Chuckie. And yes, I drink a Guiness from tiem to time. But mostly I use it to treat fence posts before implanting them in the ground to prevent rot.)
Ever since Sherlock Holmes dispatched his arch-enemy, Professor James Moriarty, in the Reichenbach Falls in Switzerland, the position of "The Napoleon of Crime" has been vacant. Although, admittedly, I have had a brilliant legitimate career by virtue of a brain that is powerful enough to affect the destiny of nations, my hereditary tendencies of the most diabolical kind also run rampant in my blood. These proclivities, instead of being ameliorated, have been increased and rendered infinitely more dangerous by my extraordinary mental powers. So I have become greatest schemer of all time, the organizer of every deviltry, the controlling brain of the underworld. Behold! The new Napoleon of Crime!
(That's the real Richenbach Falls in the Gaussian Blurred background and a way-cool Russian Dragunov Sniper Rifle in my hand. And note Colt .45 Peachemaker in Tom Threeperson's buscadero rig. Faded colors of original paintiing requiired LOTS of adjusting.)
(That's the real Richenbach Falls in the Gaussian Blurred background and a way-cool Russian Dragunov Sniper Rifle in my hand. And note Colt .45 Peachemaker in Tom Threeperson's buscadero rig. Faded colors of original paintiing requiired LOTS of adjusting.)
Beyonce goes Goth!
Beyonce the Califronia Gurl!
Imagine
by John Winston Lennon
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
by John Winston Lennon
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
I've heard sex is a killer. Want to die happy?
Can I buy you a drink - or would you just prefer the five bucks?
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
That's a nice blouse. Can I talk you out of it?
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper!
You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everyone we did anyway!
Can I buy you a drink - or would you just prefer the five bucks?
You know what? Your eyes are the same color as my Porsche.
Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
That's a nice blouse. Can I talk you out of it?
What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper!
You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everyone we did anyway!
Coo yah! Direct from Trenchtown, Jamaica, comes this cris bad-bwai, the Motorola Natty Droid! Ai ray!
Lorena Gallo (nee Bobbit). What man can forget what happened the night of June 23, 1993?
Abysmally stupid pie chart: Firstly, "tilting" a pie chart to simulate 3D distorts the relative sizes of the slices, making the ones at the bottom of the pie seem bigger and the ones at the top seem smaller -- which negates the whole purpose of a pie chart in the first place. Secondly, while humans can judge the relative sizes of 2D objects, they cannot judge the relative sizes of 3D objects (which makes bar graphs that use 3D prisms really stupid too). So this particular pie chart is stupid squared. Note that tilted pie charts and prismatic bar graphs are the default in Microsoft Office - which proves my point!
Just harmless teasing? kids' play? NO! Bullying is deadly serious!
Just in case you have not already guessed, Victoria's dirty little secret is that they are all a bunch of low-grade perverts...EXHIBITIONISTS, to be precise!
Today's guyz vs. yesterday's guys.
"How can I possibly put a new idea into your heads, if I do not first remove your delusions?" - Robert Anson Heinlein. How can you tell in you are truly "in love"? It's easy. Get a blood test! That's because being "in love" is the result of a temporary, and very serious, hormonal imbalance whose biological purpose is to initiate pair-bonding. The physiological manifestations of this hormonal imbalance are heart palpitations, trembling, pallor, flushing, pupil dilation and general weakness. Awkwardness, stuttering, shyness, confusion predominate at the behavioral level. Less common effects include sickness, headaches, and loss of appetite, dizziness and passing out. The mental effects of being "in love" are characterized by obsessive, persistent, involuntary and intrusive thoughts, as well as wild, improbable flights of fantasy about the love object. Being "in love" is also accompanied by an omnipresent, powerful fear of rejection. Therefore, being "in love" does not necessarily make you feel good. Being "in love" can generate an intense, short-lived euphoria if the love object reciprocates but, on the other hand, can cause extreme despair if the love object does not reciprocate. So the inevitably transitory nature of being "in love" can be a minor disappointment if a pair-bond is actually formed but can also be a blessing is a pair-bond is not formed.
"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert Anson Heinlein. Feeling "loved" is somtimes misused as meaning that someone is "in love" with you. It really means that you feel that (not "...think that..."; "Man is not a rational animal; he is a rationalizing animal." - Robert Anson Heinlein) that you are cared for, cared about, supported, understoon, approved of, and encouraged by another or others. Research shows that this feeling can help you live longer, more hapily, and make more money than someone who lacks this feeling.
Is love in the air all around us? Does love make the world go 'round? Or - fundamentally - is love, as the late John Winston Lennon, MBE, postualted - all you need? I leave it to you to rank love among these other basic needs: clean water, food, clothing, shelter, protection from enemies both foreign and domestic, loyalty, honesty, forgiveness, cheerfullness, intelligence, approval, understanding, empathy, and enthusiasm for sex (on the part of your significant other but not your significant other's friends or relatives).
"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." - Robert Anson Heinlein. Feeling "loved" is somtimes misused as meaning that someone is "in love" with you. It really means that you feel that (not "...think that..."; "Man is not a rational animal; he is a rationalizing animal." - Robert Anson Heinlein) that you are cared for, cared about, supported, understoon, approved of, and encouraged by another or others. Research shows that this feeling can help you live longer, more hapily, and make more money than someone who lacks this feeling.
Is love in the air all around us? Does love make the world go 'round? Or - fundamentally - is love, as the late John Winston Lennon, MBE, postualted - all you need? I leave it to you to rank love among these other basic needs: clean water, food, clothing, shelter, protection from enemies both foreign and domestic, loyalty, honesty, forgiveness, cheerfullness, intelligence, approval, understanding, empathy, and enthusiasm for sex (on the part of your significant other but not your significant other's friends or relatives).
Paris Hilton sequestered in Level 4 Isolation Ward!
According to officials from the US Centers for Disease Control, former media idol Paris Hilton has been locked up in a Level 4 Isolation Ward at an undisclosed, top-secret government facility because she has contracted the virulently infectious Viridi Die virus resulting in the Nigrum Formen Solis Syndrome. (Viridi Die is Latin for "Green Day," and - you guessed it! - "Nigrum Formen Solis" is Latin for "Black Hole Sun.")
According to officials from the US Centers for Disease Control, former media idol Paris Hilton has been locked up in a Level 4 Isolation Ward at an undisclosed, top-secret government facility because she has contracted the virulently infectious Viridi Die virus resulting in the Nigrum Formen Solis Syndrome. (Viridi Die is Latin for "Green Day," and - you guessed it! - "Nigrum Formen Solis" is Latin for "Black Hole Sun.")
Least inspiring poster from The Psuedo-Revolutionary Summer of Love (1968). It symobolized "With Freedom Comes Responsibility" or sometihing like that. Who knows? Who cares? What do you expect? They were all on drugs!
Chuck "Dr. Feelgood" Small's
*PICK THE BEST LOOKING STAR CONTEST*
Now, don't you feel better about the way YOU look?
*PICK THE BEST LOOKING STAR CONTEST*
Now, don't you feel better about the way YOU look?
Oscar Winner Halle Berry Spoted Buying Up Copies of "B*A*P*S"!
Reportedly, late at night, Oscar winner Halle Berry disguises herself, sneaks out of her mansion, and skulks about 24-hour discount stores, buying up every copy of her movie "B*A*P*S" she can find in the $3.00 bin!
Reportedly, late at night, Oscar winner Halle Berry disguises herself, sneaks out of her mansion, and skulks about 24-hour discount stores, buying up every copy of her movie "B*A*P*S" she can find in the $3.00 bin!
Daddy, all I wanted was for you to love me! Daddy? Daddy?
While it is of paramount importance, it goes without saying, for today's men and women to have "look," and it certainly does not hurt to be "good looking," But, under NO circumstances, should you be a "good looker"!
Don't get it? OK, OK! "Pithirus" is the scientific name for the human pubic louse or "crab" (or "mechanized dandruff" as we called them back when I was in the Army).
In memory of the late, great Miss Tammy Wynette, who did indeed, stand by her man (the hopeless alcholoic George Jones).
Rap: Tourette's Syndrome Set To Music
Beating a Dead Horse Department: it's generally agreed that the Golden Age of Rap was from 1988 to 1996. http://www.tsa-usa.org/ http://www.doggerel_recovering.org/
Beating a Dead Horse Department: it's generally agreed that the Golden Age of Rap was from 1988 to 1996. http://www.tsa-usa.org/ http://www.doggerel_recovering.org/
If you can't believe in Hocus Pocus, what can you believe in?
The Forer effect (also called the Barnum Effect after the 19th-century huckster P.T. Barnum's come-on that "We've got something for everyone!") is the observation that individuals will give high accuracy ratings to descriptions of their personality that supposedly are tailored specifically for them, but which are, in fact, vague and general enough to apply to a wide range of people. This effect, which is not quite the same as telling people what they want to hear, explains some or all of the widespread acceptance of beliefs and practices such as crystal healing, astral projection, holistic and alternative medicine, parapsychology, channeling, the New Age human potential movement, astrology, certain self-help gurus, fortune telling, graphology, pseudoscientific personality tests such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), and each and every self-administered quiz in Cosmopolitan magazine.
In 1948, respected psychologist Dr. Bertram R. Forer, MD, PhD, gave a “personality test” to his students. He then told his students they were each receiving a unique personality analysis that was based on the test's results and for thems to rate their analysis on a scale of 0 (very poor) to 5 (excellent) on how well it applied to themselves. In reality, each received the same analysis.
The students rated the assessments on an average of 4.5 ou5 of 5.
Later studies found that people give higher accuracy ratings if the following were true:
o The subject believes that the analysis applies only to him or her
o The subject believes in the authority of the evaluator
o The analysis lists mainly positive traits
Here is the text of Dr Forer's bogus personality assessment (which was based random excerpts from astrological horoscopes in newspapers):
"You have a great need for other people to like and admire you. You have a tendency to be critical of yourself. You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage. While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them. Your sexual adjustment has presented problems for you. Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic. Security is one of your major goals in life."
The Forer effect (also called the Barnum Effect after the 19th-century huckster P.T. Barnum's come-on that "We've got something for everyone!") is the observation that individuals will give high accuracy ratings to descriptions of their personality that supposedly are tailored specifically for them, but which are, in fact, vague and general enough to apply to a wide range of people. This effect, which is not quite the same as telling people what they want to hear, explains some or all of the widespread acceptance of beliefs and practices such as crystal healing, astral projection, holistic and alternative medicine, parapsychology, channeling, the New Age human potential movement, astrology, certain self-help gurus, fortune telling, graphology, pseudoscientific personality tests such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), and each and every self-administered quiz in Cosmopolitan magazine.
In 1948, respected psychologist Dr. Bertram R. Forer, MD, PhD, gave a “personality test” to his students. He then told his students they were each receiving a unique personality analysis that was based on the test's results and for thems to rate their analysis on a scale of 0 (very poor) to 5 (excellent) on how well it applied to themselves. In reality, each received the same analysis.
The students rated the assessments on an average of 4.5 ou5 of 5.
Later studies found that people give higher accuracy ratings if the following were true:
o The subject believes that the analysis applies only to him or her
o The subject believes in the authority of the evaluator
o The analysis lists mainly positive traits
Here is the text of Dr Forer's bogus personality assessment (which was based random excerpts from astrological horoscopes in newspapers):
"You have a great need for other people to like and admire you. You have a tendency to be critical of yourself. You have a great deal of unused capacity which you have not turned to your advantage. While you have some personality weaknesses, you are generally able to compensate for them. Your sexual adjustment has presented problems for you. Disciplined and self-controlled outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. You have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be pretty unrealistic. Security is one of your major goals in life."
Here is the proposed monument to the Sharpie. Why the humble Sharpie? For starters, unlike irresistible psycho girlfriends, the Sharpie has no downsides and only upsides. Further, if you remember to put the ferschlugger cap back on, the Sharpie will never let your down. Is there anyone you know, other than your dog, that you can say that about? Lastly, the Sharpie is both indispensable and perfect. When you need a Sharpie, nothing else but a Sharpie will do. And it does what it does do perfectly when you need to do what it does do done. Doo dah! Doo dah! Dooooo!
It's not easy being a woman
When guys want to find a store for men who are at either extremes of the old bell-shaped curve for somatotypes, they can go to a store clearly labeled as "Big and Tall" And men's pants sizes are logical and come in measurements of at waist size and often inseam. Women's pants sizes, and clothing sizes in general, are meaningless, arbitrary numbers that come, as far as I can tell, from having kittens bat around a 20-sided Dungeons and Dragons die or something like that. What's worse, there are no corresponding women's stores called "Big and Fat," "Lard Ass Emporium," or "Bootylicious!".
So how to find such stores and what to do when in them? It's not that easy. First of all, some of them use in-evocative womans' names. Take “Lane Bryant” or “Ashley Stewart.” Is "Lane" even a woman's name? Is it even a person's name at all? Who are they? Are they famously large women? Or are they gracile, etoliated fashion models who dress just like large women do?
Or they pick a random word, having nothing at all to do with clothing of any kind, but one that simply begins with "A" such as “Avenue” and “Alight."
Equally lacking in semiotics, there are names that are just like the store with regular sized clothing only pointlessly, slightly different. Plus-sized version of franchises include Torrid (original store: Hot Topic), Macy's Woman (Macy's), Elisabeth (Liz Claiborne), Faith 21 (Forever 21) and Pure Energy (Target).
Once such a store is found, and its location entered into your GPS, you still are not home free because there are different, but common, distributions of adipose tissue and somatotypes. So to help you decipher the euphemisms used for clothing, the helpful graphic is presented. No, no. Don't thank me. Just knowing I have helped brint some much needed light to bear on your dim, little lives is enough for Senstiveman.
When guys want to find a store for men who are at either extremes of the old bell-shaped curve for somatotypes, they can go to a store clearly labeled as "Big and Tall" And men's pants sizes are logical and come in measurements of at waist size and often inseam. Women's pants sizes, and clothing sizes in general, are meaningless, arbitrary numbers that come, as far as I can tell, from having kittens bat around a 20-sided Dungeons and Dragons die or something like that. What's worse, there are no corresponding women's stores called "Big and Fat," "Lard Ass Emporium," or "Bootylicious!".
So how to find such stores and what to do when in them? It's not that easy. First of all, some of them use in-evocative womans' names. Take “Lane Bryant” or “Ashley Stewart.” Is "Lane" even a woman's name? Is it even a person's name at all? Who are they? Are they famously large women? Or are they gracile, etoliated fashion models who dress just like large women do?
Or they pick a random word, having nothing at all to do with clothing of any kind, but one that simply begins with "A" such as “Avenue” and “Alight."
Equally lacking in semiotics, there are names that are just like the store with regular sized clothing only pointlessly, slightly different. Plus-sized version of franchises include Torrid (original store: Hot Topic), Macy's Woman (Macy's), Elisabeth (Liz Claiborne), Faith 21 (Forever 21) and Pure Energy (Target).
Once such a store is found, and its location entered into your GPS, you still are not home free because there are different, but common, distributions of adipose tissue and somatotypes. So to help you decipher the euphemisms used for clothing, the helpful graphic is presented. No, no. Don't thank me. Just knowing I have helped brint some much needed light to bear on your dim, little lives is enough for Senstiveman.
Charles H Small, BSEE, Virginia Tech
Talk on Forgiveness
by Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize Winner
To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self-interest. It is also a process that does not exclude hatred and anger. These emotions are all part of being human. You should never hate yourself for hating others who do terrible things: the depth of your love is shown by the extent of your anger.
However, when I talk of forgiveness I mean the belief that you can come out the other side a better person. A better person than the one being consumed by anger and hatred. Remaining in that state locks you in a state of victimhood, making you almost dependent on the perpetrator. If you can find it in yourself to forgive then you are no longer chained to the perpetrator. You can move on, and you can even help the perpetrator to become a better person too.
But the process of forgiveness also requires acknowledgement on the part of the perpetrator that they have committed an offence. I don’t like to talk about my own personal experience of forgiveness, although some of the things people have tried to do to my family are close to what I’d consider unforgivable. I don’t talk about these things because I have witnessed so many incredible people who, despite experiencing atrocity and tragedy, have come to a point in their lives where they are able to forgive.
by Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize Winner
To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self-interest. It is also a process that does not exclude hatred and anger. These emotions are all part of being human. You should never hate yourself for hating others who do terrible things: the depth of your love is shown by the extent of your anger.
However, when I talk of forgiveness I mean the belief that you can come out the other side a better person. A better person than the one being consumed by anger and hatred. Remaining in that state locks you in a state of victimhood, making you almost dependent on the perpetrator. If you can find it in yourself to forgive then you are no longer chained to the perpetrator. You can move on, and you can even help the perpetrator to become a better person too.
But the process of forgiveness also requires acknowledgement on the part of the perpetrator that they have committed an offence. I don’t like to talk about my own personal experience of forgiveness, although some of the things people have tried to do to my family are close to what I’d consider unforgivable. I don’t talk about these things because I have witnessed so many incredible people who, despite experiencing atrocity and tragedy, have come to a point in their lives where they are able to forgive.
Japan's four-man (+ a programmer) Yellow Magic Orchestra (a.k.s YMO) are the single most influential innovators in the field of popular electronic music. They helped pioneer disco, synthpop and ambient house, helped usher in electronica, anticipated the beats and sounds of electro music, laid the foundations for contemporary J-pop, and contributed to the development of house, techno, and American hip hop. More broadly, their influence is evident (that is, they get plagarized shamelessly starting with Donna Summer's producer) across many genres of popular music, including electronic dance, ambient music, chiptune, video-game music, pop [Lady Gaga for example], rock, symphonic rock and melodic music. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otXPz2Z1RAM&feature=related Yellow Magic (Tong Poo) is from the 1980's on their then state-of-the-art analog synthesizers. And yes, every disco song in the world copied YMO's bass line from this number. They are still recording, only using the the latest digital synthesizers (all of which come from Japan too). Here's a more recent version of their signature tune "Technopolis." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OOLxGjb3dY. And the way-cool Rydeen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJFbwAMK_rg&feature=related
Because most ordinary people have never written program code as part of a big software project, and also because programmers have unjustifiably inflated opinions of their craft ("Programming is an art." they often declare pomously), most people do not realize how abysmally bad the work product of programmers really is compared to the work product of all other vital technologists. Let me put this in perspective. A Boeing 747 has approximately 3.5 million parts. And they all work together just fine as evidenced by the fact that 747's do not crash for no apparent reason. Mathematically then, the failure rate of Boeing's engineers had to have been less that one part in a million or 1 ppm. In terms of percent, that's less than an 0.000001% error rate. Despite "advancements" in software "languages" (which “advancements” actually consist almost entirely of various draconian measures that try to make it impossible for programmers to make mistakes, the practical result of such "improvements" are not better programs but ones which take up vastly more memory and run significantly slower), the error rates of programmers has historically been, and remains to this day, at least 3% in terms of errors per lines of code. What does that mean?While Microsoft is not talking, it is reliably estimated that Windows has at least three million lines of code. Which means that around 90,000 of those lines are wrong.That's right. Microsoft, and every other major software vendor, knowingly, routinely and cynically ship error riddled, “buggy,” products and then often charge the customers to fix errors that don't manifest themselves right away!The bible is correct when it says "The truth will set you free.” (John 8:32). But the also bible, quite wisely, makes no promises about the truth making you happy.Do you feel happy now that you know the truth about programmers? Do you? Huh? Do you? LOL! WETSU!
Reality-Distorting Ovulation Goggles Cause Women To Consistantly Pick Mr. Wrong
Why do, bad boys, with their leather jackets, their greased back hair, their fear of commitment, thrill, and thereby get to impregnate, women -- while simultaneously making them feel shitty about themselves? Why do they on keep picking Mr. Wrong? Well, as usual, it's not women's fault -- sort of... You see, women may be victims of their very own conniving ovaries, which release wacky hormones that make them think they can selfish jerks to cleave to them by maeans of having the jerks' babies.
According to two new studies, in the week around when women ovulate, their ovaries release hormones that affect who they see as being good potential fathers. During that period, they tend to pick sexier men over more dependable men. In other words, if the menstrual cycle were a romantic comedy, ovulation would be the beginning of the movie, when Kate Hudson can't stop flirting with the hot banker whose sunglasses reveal that he'll do nothing but break her heart. I mean, what could be sexier than wearing sunglasses indoors? Sunglasses AND razor stubble?
To determine this sad fact, researchers showed women online dating profiles that depicted either a sexy guy or a reliable guy (because, as everyone knows, there's no such thing as a sexy and reliable guy) during times of high and low fertility. They were asked to rate how they'd expect the man to contribute as a father if they had a kid together (including doing things like caring for the baby, shopping for food, and doing household chores). When they were near ovulation and highly fertile, the women said they thought the sexy man would contribute more.
As researcher Dr. Kristina Durante, PhD, of The University of Texas at San Antonio, put it, "Under the hormonal influence of ovulation, women delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads. When looking at the sexy cad through ovulation goggles, Mr. Wrong looked exactly like Mr. Right."
Ovulation goggles? (Psst! Here's where to get a pair: http://www.todayswoman.com/).
These findings were confirmed by a second experiment, where women interacted with male actors who played either a sexy jerk or a reliable dad. Yet again, fertile women picked the dick over the dependable guy to be a better father. Interestingly, women in this experiment said the sexy guy would contribute more to childcare if and only if he was her baby daddy, but not if he knocked up some other chickie-poo.
According to Dr. Durante, "When asked about what kind of father the sexy bad boy would make if he were to have children with another woman, women were quick to point out the bad boy's shortcomings. But when it came to their own child, ovulating women believed that the charismatic and adventurous cad would be a great father to their kids." Apparently ovulation goggles only work when looking in the mirror!
Why do, bad boys, with their leather jackets, their greased back hair, their fear of commitment, thrill, and thereby get to impregnate, women -- while simultaneously making them feel shitty about themselves? Why do they on keep picking Mr. Wrong? Well, as usual, it's not women's fault -- sort of... You see, women may be victims of their very own conniving ovaries, which release wacky hormones that make them think they can selfish jerks to cleave to them by maeans of having the jerks' babies.
According to two new studies, in the week around when women ovulate, their ovaries release hormones that affect who they see as being good potential fathers. During that period, they tend to pick sexier men over more dependable men. In other words, if the menstrual cycle were a romantic comedy, ovulation would be the beginning of the movie, when Kate Hudson can't stop flirting with the hot banker whose sunglasses reveal that he'll do nothing but break her heart. I mean, what could be sexier than wearing sunglasses indoors? Sunglasses AND razor stubble?
To determine this sad fact, researchers showed women online dating profiles that depicted either a sexy guy or a reliable guy (because, as everyone knows, there's no such thing as a sexy and reliable guy) during times of high and low fertility. They were asked to rate how they'd expect the man to contribute as a father if they had a kid together (including doing things like caring for the baby, shopping for food, and doing household chores). When they were near ovulation and highly fertile, the women said they thought the sexy man would contribute more.
As researcher Dr. Kristina Durante, PhD, of The University of Texas at San Antonio, put it, "Under the hormonal influence of ovulation, women delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads. When looking at the sexy cad through ovulation goggles, Mr. Wrong looked exactly like Mr. Right."
Ovulation goggles? (Psst! Here's where to get a pair: http://www.todayswoman.com/).
These findings were confirmed by a second experiment, where women interacted with male actors who played either a sexy jerk or a reliable dad. Yet again, fertile women picked the dick over the dependable guy to be a better father. Interestingly, women in this experiment said the sexy guy would contribute more to childcare if and only if he was her baby daddy, but not if he knocked up some other chickie-poo.
According to Dr. Durante, "When asked about what kind of father the sexy bad boy would make if he were to have children with another woman, women were quick to point out the bad boy's shortcomings. But when it came to their own child, ovulating women believed that the charismatic and adventurous cad would be a great father to their kids." Apparently ovulation goggles only work when looking in the mirror!
Tim Gunn's Women's Guide To Men's Clothes
1. The man on your arm is not just another accoutrement of yours to be accsessorized according to your whim of iron!
2. Wrap your mind around this factoid: men do not even think about buying new shoes until their old shoes are worn out! Breathtakinly incomprehensible, right ladies?
3. Women dress to express themselves, especially is they are vacuous "wives" with absolutley nothing to say.
4. At best, men dress to impress (at worst, just to stay clean and dry); but, the flashiness or of a man's outfit is inversely proportional to his status (a CEO's plain blue suit vs. a pimp or a cowboy).
5. Women try to uniqify their outfits; men, on a good day, wear the appropriate uniform for the occasion - And ladies, not only is this the best you can expect, that's ALL you have a right to ask for!
6. What women have on the outside affects how they feel on the inside.
7. What men have on the outside has no effect on how they feel on the inside; neither does what you have on your outside affect them on their insides either, for that matter. If they complement you on your outfit, that only means they want to have sex with you.
8. Certain aspects of a man's dress that might, on first blush, impress a woman, are actually sure signs of major, multiple character defects in a man. Specifically: designer anything (especially desiger belt buckles); socks, tie, and pocket hanky matching; any jewelry except a wedding ring and or a class ring (especially cuff links); and a gold (as opposed to a stainless-steel) Rolex.
9. No one knows why men wear plaid and there is nothing to be done about it; accept these facts and try to get on with your lives, ladies.
10. I won't even try to explain Florsheimm wingtips; just ignore them and lift your gaze up to his nice smile.
Homwork Assignment: Read linguist Dr. Deborah Tannen's seminal "You Just Don't Understand." If you don't, there is very little chance you will sustain any kind of relationship with any man. (Make him read it too!)
1. The man on your arm is not just another accoutrement of yours to be accsessorized according to your whim of iron!
2. Wrap your mind around this factoid: men do not even think about buying new shoes until their old shoes are worn out! Breathtakinly incomprehensible, right ladies?
3. Women dress to express themselves, especially is they are vacuous "wives" with absolutley nothing to say.
4. At best, men dress to impress (at worst, just to stay clean and dry); but, the flashiness or of a man's outfit is inversely proportional to his status (a CEO's plain blue suit vs. a pimp or a cowboy).
5. Women try to uniqify their outfits; men, on a good day, wear the appropriate uniform for the occasion - And ladies, not only is this the best you can expect, that's ALL you have a right to ask for!
6. What women have on the outside affects how they feel on the inside.
7. What men have on the outside has no effect on how they feel on the inside; neither does what you have on your outside affect them on their insides either, for that matter. If they complement you on your outfit, that only means they want to have sex with you.
8. Certain aspects of a man's dress that might, on first blush, impress a woman, are actually sure signs of major, multiple character defects in a man. Specifically: designer anything (especially desiger belt buckles); socks, tie, and pocket hanky matching; any jewelry except a wedding ring and or a class ring (especially cuff links); and a gold (as opposed to a stainless-steel) Rolex.
9. No one knows why men wear plaid and there is nothing to be done about it; accept these facts and try to get on with your lives, ladies.
10. I won't even try to explain Florsheimm wingtips; just ignore them and lift your gaze up to his nice smile.
Homwork Assignment: Read linguist Dr. Deborah Tannen's seminal "You Just Don't Understand." If you don't, there is very little chance you will sustain any kind of relationship with any man. (Make him read it too!)
Trancendal Joke!
Budhist monk to hot-dog vendor: "Make me one with everything."
Vendor gives monk hot dog slathered with everything.
Monk hands vendor $20 bill and waits patiently for his change.
Finallly, after a long wait, the monk asks, "Change?"
The vendor replies, "Change only comes from within."
Budhist monk to hot-dog vendor: "Make me one with everything."
Vendor gives monk hot dog slathered with everything.
Monk hands vendor $20 bill and waits patiently for his change.
Finallly, after a long wait, the monk asks, "Change?"
The vendor replies, "Change only comes from within."
If you laugh at these Engineer Jokes, you either (a) have a very strange sense of humor or (b) have to good fourtune to know an engineer.
During the French Revolution, an ingénieur was brought into the execution square in a carel. He was led up the 13 steps, tied up and thrust beneath the guillotine. The executioner pulled the rope...and nothing happened! He pulled it a second time...and again nothing happened!! He pulled it a third time...and still nothing happened!!! The ingénieur craned his neck around, looked up at the blade mechanism, and said to the executioner, "I see your problem..."
How do you torture an engineer? Tie him or her to a chair and slowly fold a map incorrectly in front of him or her.
An electrical engineer, mechanical engineer and software engineer are on their way to a trade show when their car stalls and they are forced to pull over to the side of the road. The mechnical engineer says, "it's probably a mechanical problem. I'll get my tool box out of the trunk and I can fix it." The electrical engineer says, "no, I'll bet it's an electrical problem. I have my multimeter with me and I'll go check it out." Finally, the software engineer says, "I have the solution! Let's all get out of the car and then get back in, open and shut the glove compartment, turn all the lights off and back on, and open and close all the windows. I'll bet we'll be back on the road in no time!"
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want!"
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
The optimist says the glass is half full, the pessimist says the glass is half empty, the engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. [For the life of me, I don't see what is at all funny about this particular "engineering solution" to a cliche.]
How do women tell the difference between an introverted engineer and an extroverted engineer?
The extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when talking to you!
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him." and asks the keeper:
"What's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving school children from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
A mechanical, electronic, and civil engineer were discussing God. They all agreed that God must be an engineer because of the way the human body is designed. The mechanical engineer argued that He is obviously a mechanical engineer because of the way the limbs operate using levers, etc. The electronic engineer argued that He is obviously an electrical engineer because none of the body would work without the electrical signals going through the nerve system to control everything. The civil engineer argued that He obviously was not a civil engineer as no decent civil engineer would run a sewage disposal system through a recreational area.
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet about the ground. You are between 42 and 44 degrees north latitude and between 83 and 85 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below responded, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
During the French Revolution, an ingénieur was brought into the execution square in a carel. He was led up the 13 steps, tied up and thrust beneath the guillotine. The executioner pulled the rope...and nothing happened! He pulled it a second time...and again nothing happened!! He pulled it a third time...and still nothing happened!!! The ingénieur craned his neck around, looked up at the blade mechanism, and said to the executioner, "I see your problem..."
How do you torture an engineer? Tie him or her to a chair and slowly fold a map incorrectly in front of him or her.
An electrical engineer, mechanical engineer and software engineer are on their way to a trade show when their car stalls and they are forced to pull over to the side of the road. The mechnical engineer says, "it's probably a mechanical problem. I'll get my tool box out of the trunk and I can fix it." The electrical engineer says, "no, I'll bet it's an electrical problem. I have my multimeter with me and I'll go check it out." Finally, the software engineer says, "I have the solution! Let's all get out of the car and then get back in, open and shut the glove compartment, turn all the lights off and back on, and open and close all the windows. I'll bet we'll be back on the road in no time!"
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike.
She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want!"
The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice. The clothes probably wouldn't have fit."
The optimist says the glass is half full, the pessimist says the glass is half empty, the engineer says the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. [For the life of me, I don't see what is at all funny about this particular "engineering solution" to a cliche.]
How do women tell the difference between an introverted engineer and an extroverted engineer?
The extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when talking to you!
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him." and asks the keeper:
"What's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving school children from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
A mechanical, electronic, and civil engineer were discussing God. They all agreed that God must be an engineer because of the way the human body is designed. The mechanical engineer argued that He is obviously a mechanical engineer because of the way the limbs operate using levers, etc. The electronic engineer argued that He is obviously an electrical engineer because none of the body would work without the electrical signals going through the nerve system to control everything. The civil engineer argued that He obviously was not a civil engineer as no decent civil engineer would run a sewage disposal system through a recreational area.
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet about the ground. You are between 42 and 44 degrees north latitude and between 83 and 85 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the man, "but how did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below responded, "You must be a manager."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."
Former media idol and jailbird Khloe Kardashian went pieces after learning that O. J. Simpson, and not Robert Kardashian, is her father. "There she was, one minute, doing what we know and love her for and what she does best - having her picture taken - and then PIFFLE! she started going to pieces!" gasped the shocked paparatozo Torquemada La Bonza. The authoritative National Enquirer claims that an "emotionally obsessed" Khloe had been planning to visit Simpson in jail to find out if he is her real father. "O.J. has told friends he is Khloe’s dad and he’s never denied it whenever his pals have asked." a "source" told the publication. He also noted that "When you think about it, she does look more like a running back than a model!"
Summertime is here, which means the heat is about to wreak havoc on your makeup!!!
What to do? What do do? Senstiveman knows what you should do better than you do yourself!!!!
Firstly, there is a fix-all product called makeup primer that you absolutly must have, Darling. In fact, no matter what the season or temperature, having a good makeup primer is essential. First and foremost a good makeup primer will keep all of the hard work you just did with you makeup in place! As a bonus, the primer will also minimize the appearance of lines and pores. Makeup primers, such as Smashbox Photofinish Foundation Primer or Nars Makeup Primer work well on the face but if you want your eyeshadow to stay, you also want to check out a long-lasting eyeshadow like Clinique Quick Eyes Cream Shadow.
Next, Girlfriend, the best foundation for withstanding extreme conditions can be summed up in one word: Mineral Makeup!!!! Especially in summer time, when it's hot and you don't feel like piling on the makeup, mineral makeup can be a godsend. It's easy to apply and quick to boot. The bonus is that it will wear all day, not slide off your face, and leave you looking "natural" all hours of the day and night!!
But what are you supposed to do about your lips? That's an easy fix too!!! There are two products you need to help keep your lips in place. First, you need a good lip stain such as Benefit Benetint. Lip stain is great to use because you can stain your lips and then just use a little lip balm on top, or you can wear it under lipstick or lip gloss to help them stay in place longer. As a bonus, once your lipstick or lip gloss fades you will still have a beautifully colored pout!!!!!
The second product you need in order to keep your lips in check, is a great long-wear lip gloss. L'Oreal Infallible Lipgloss lasts for up to six hours and is very creamy and moisturizing. Another great long-lasting lip gloss is Clin
As for sun block, who needs it? who's afrid of a little melanoma 30 years from now? Sun block will negate all the "work" you put in on your tan!!!!!!
What to do? What do do? Senstiveman knows what you should do better than you do yourself!!!!
Firstly, there is a fix-all product called makeup primer that you absolutly must have, Darling. In fact, no matter what the season or temperature, having a good makeup primer is essential. First and foremost a good makeup primer will keep all of the hard work you just did with you makeup in place! As a bonus, the primer will also minimize the appearance of lines and pores. Makeup primers, such as Smashbox Photofinish Foundation Primer or Nars Makeup Primer work well on the face but if you want your eyeshadow to stay, you also want to check out a long-lasting eyeshadow like Clinique Quick Eyes Cream Shadow.
Next, Girlfriend, the best foundation for withstanding extreme conditions can be summed up in one word: Mineral Makeup!!!! Especially in summer time, when it's hot and you don't feel like piling on the makeup, mineral makeup can be a godsend. It's easy to apply and quick to boot. The bonus is that it will wear all day, not slide off your face, and leave you looking "natural" all hours of the day and night!!
But what are you supposed to do about your lips? That's an easy fix too!!! There are two products you need to help keep your lips in place. First, you need a good lip stain such as Benefit Benetint. Lip stain is great to use because you can stain your lips and then just use a little lip balm on top, or you can wear it under lipstick or lip gloss to help them stay in place longer. As a bonus, once your lipstick or lip gloss fades you will still have a beautifully colored pout!!!!!
The second product you need in order to keep your lips in check, is a great long-wear lip gloss. L'Oreal Infallible Lipgloss lasts for up to six hours and is very creamy and moisturizing. Another great long-lasting lip gloss is Clin
As for sun block, who needs it? who's afrid of a little melanoma 30 years from now? Sun block will negate all the "work" you put in on your tan!!!!!!
For years, retailers, marketers and businesses of all shapes and sizes had gone out of their way to try to win over that “all-important” 18-to-34-year-old demographic. The conventional "thinking" was that younger buyers were less “set in their ways” than their parents so they were more open to new products and new brands. Oh yeah? Care to guess what demographic groups are among the fastest growing users of Facebook? Men 45-54 and women 45-65. The average age of handheld video gamers? 42. Average age of GPS system users? 50. Average age of a Harley Davidson rider? 59.
The reality is that the 18-to-34-year-old group is flat broke and are carrying huge student loans. The outstanding student-loan debt is near $1 trillion for the first time ever. And only 54% of Americans ages 18-to-34 actually have jobs - the lowest rate ever recorded since the government started tracking such data in 1948. Young Americans are increasingly likely to live with their parents because they cannot afford to get out on their own.
Not surprisingly, 50 percent of all consumer spending today in America is by people over the age of 50. The realization is setting in that it’s not such a good idea to focus on a bunch of consumers with little disposable income and increasingly frugal habits.
The E (they recently ditched the excitement point!...I mean the wowie-zowie point!!...I mean the I'm-soenthused/enthusiastic point!!!...I mean the exclamation point!!!!, - yeah that's it!!!!! - the exclamation point!!!!!!!) Entertainment Network, a minor, but steady little money maker for vast Comcast empire, that has been watched almost exclusively by the 18-to-34-year-old group, has announced plans to begin running original scripted shows and cut back on inexpensive-to-produce "reality" and "runway" shows. Perhaps the next dominos to fall will be retailers such as The Gap, Urban Outfitters and Abercrombie & Fitch unless they stop focusing almost exclusively on young hipsters (who got all their hipneosityness from watching E! in the first place).
The reality is that the 18-to-34-year-old group is flat broke and are carrying huge student loans. The outstanding student-loan debt is near $1 trillion for the first time ever. And only 54% of Americans ages 18-to-34 actually have jobs - the lowest rate ever recorded since the government started tracking such data in 1948. Young Americans are increasingly likely to live with their parents because they cannot afford to get out on their own.
Not surprisingly, 50 percent of all consumer spending today in America is by people over the age of 50. The realization is setting in that it’s not such a good idea to focus on a bunch of consumers with little disposable income and increasingly frugal habits.
The E (they recently ditched the excitement point!...I mean the wowie-zowie point!!...I mean the I'm-soenthused/enthusiastic point!!!...I mean the exclamation point!!!!, - yeah that's it!!!!! - the exclamation point!!!!!!!) Entertainment Network, a minor, but steady little money maker for vast Comcast empire, that has been watched almost exclusively by the 18-to-34-year-old group, has announced plans to begin running original scripted shows and cut back on inexpensive-to-produce "reality" and "runway" shows. Perhaps the next dominos to fall will be retailers such as The Gap, Urban Outfitters and Abercrombie & Fitch unless they stop focusing almost exclusively on young hipsters (who got all their hipneosityness from watching E! in the first place).
Flash: Most "social" networkers don't acutally socialize! Kids are sneaky!
Published in the Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, a new study about Facebook reveals, oddly enough, that maintaining relationships wasn’t found to be the top factor, as you might expect. Instead researchers found that your personality type determines how much time you spend on the social networking site and how often you visit.
The study by the University of Connecticut’s Daniel Hunt and Archana Krishnan and Michigan State’s David Atkin found that much of what caused people to spend time on Facebook could be traced back to personality and a desire to be entertained rather than to e-schmooze.
The authors comment on the results from the study: “The entertainment motive was shown to be the most powerful predictor of how much time participants spent on Facebook. Individuals are using Facebook for entertainment purposes. This differs from the paltry number of cases where it’s being used to maintain relationships. That is, most individuals use Facebook in a similar fashion to a blog or to promote their viewpoints.”
Looking at motivational factors that could encourage individuals to spend time on Facebook, the researchers found that entertainment and passing time, along with information seeking, to be the top driving forces for visiting the social site.
Published in the Journal of Broadcasting & Electronic Media, a new study about Facebook reveals, oddly enough, that maintaining relationships wasn’t found to be the top factor, as you might expect. Instead researchers found that your personality type determines how much time you spend on the social networking site and how often you visit.
The study by the University of Connecticut’s Daniel Hunt and Archana Krishnan and Michigan State’s David Atkin found that much of what caused people to spend time on Facebook could be traced back to personality and a desire to be entertained rather than to e-schmooze.
The authors comment on the results from the study: “The entertainment motive was shown to be the most powerful predictor of how much time participants spent on Facebook. Individuals are using Facebook for entertainment purposes. This differs from the paltry number of cases where it’s being used to maintain relationships. That is, most individuals use Facebook in a similar fashion to a blog or to promote their viewpoints.”
Looking at motivational factors that could encourage individuals to spend time on Facebook, the researchers found that entertainment and passing time, along with information seeking, to be the top driving forces for visiting the social site.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
USB OUIJA BOARD COMBINES CHANNELING WITH ASTROLOGY
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania - July 25, 2102 - The ALEVO, a handmade USB Ouija Board, forwards the users' movements of the planchette to an on-line site that executes an Astrological program written by the well-known Registered Psychic, Jolien Dorrepaal of Gelselaar, The Netherlands. The program combines the message from the ALEVO with the horoscopes of the users to yield communications uniquely attuned to specific connections between the spirit plane and the material world.
The Astrological program uses the up-to-date ephemeris maintained by the U. S. Naval Observatory. Before beginning the talking board session, the users input the exact minute, hour, day, and date of their birth (obtained from their birth certificate) as well as the latitude and longitude of the their place of birth (obtained from Google Maps).
The ALEVO is handmade of the finest hardwoods - burl maple and Brazilian rosewood - and is inlaid with genuine mother of pearl. The ALEVO measure a full 14.5 inches by 10.5 inches. The planchette, carved from genuine virgin simulated ivory, is hand scrimshawed with a runic pentagram and sports an illumined synthetic ruby. The planchette has a resolution of 800 dpi, offers 30 g acceleration, and does not interfere with the operation of the mouse. The ALEVO is powered entirely by the USB. The accompanying software, supplied on a CD, is compatible with Windows XP, Vista, and 7, Mac OS X, and Linux. The ALEVO has a lifetime warranty and is available at an introductory prices of $1199.99 plus shipping.
Contact:
Charles H Small
charles.small@live.com
Minds Online
4650-C Lindle Road
Harrisburg, PA 17111
(717) 540-0754
###
USB OUIJA BOARD COMBINES CHANNELING WITH ASTROLOGY
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania - July 25, 2102 - The ALEVO, a handmade USB Ouija Board, forwards the users' movements of the planchette to an on-line site that executes an Astrological program written by the well-known Registered Psychic, Jolien Dorrepaal of Gelselaar, The Netherlands. The program combines the message from the ALEVO with the horoscopes of the users to yield communications uniquely attuned to specific connections between the spirit plane and the material world.
The Astrological program uses the up-to-date ephemeris maintained by the U. S. Naval Observatory. Before beginning the talking board session, the users input the exact minute, hour, day, and date of their birth (obtained from their birth certificate) as well as the latitude and longitude of the their place of birth (obtained from Google Maps).
The ALEVO is handmade of the finest hardwoods - burl maple and Brazilian rosewood - and is inlaid with genuine mother of pearl. The ALEVO measure a full 14.5 inches by 10.5 inches. The planchette, carved from genuine virgin simulated ivory, is hand scrimshawed with a runic pentagram and sports an illumined synthetic ruby. The planchette has a resolution of 800 dpi, offers 30 g acceleration, and does not interfere with the operation of the mouse. The ALEVO is powered entirely by the USB. The accompanying software, supplied on a CD, is compatible with Windows XP, Vista, and 7, Mac OS X, and Linux. The ALEVO has a lifetime warranty and is available at an introductory prices of $1199.99 plus shipping.
Contact:
Charles H Small
charles.small@live.com
Minds Online
4650-C Lindle Road
Harrisburg, PA 17111
(717) 540-0754
###
