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Rob Halford is Flying Home for Xmas

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  • This plane sure is tiny. Good thing Idecided to fly first class. I hope dad doesn't bring it up again. Healways brings it up this time of year. I hope he doesn't. I hope thisis the year he gives it a rest. I wonder if anyone on this planerecognizes me? That one guy keeps looking back, but I think he'slooking for the stewardess. I mean flight attendant. I can't reallytell if he's looking at me or not because of those sunglasses. Whowears sunglasses on a plane? I took mine off, and I'm a celebrity forpete's sake. It's just impolite. I should be doing the wholesunglasses-baseball cap thing. I bet that's how terrorists andmurderers get on planes without being recognized. Wow. That sounded alot like dad. God, I hope i'm not turning into him.He makes people feel so bad inside. Malio doesn't even come visitwith me anymore. I wish he would. He's so sweet. I know mom loves himlike her own son.Because dad's such a jerk, I can't evenspend the holidays with my true love. I think that guy islooking at me. If he wants an autograph, he should just ask! Iappreciate all my fans. I hope they all know that. I'm sure they do.Some of them are losers, but they all look up to me. God, I hope daddoesn't escalate things again in front of everyone. He's becoming adrunk. He's going to get on his high horse again and tell me I can'tpossibly be a good christian because I'm gay. He knows I don't evencare. He just wants an excuse to berate me in front of company. So hecan sound like he was right about something. “I knew you were gay.All that leather. That wasn't heavy metal, that was all your gay.”Well, I don't have to put up with his shit! I'm the Metal Godfor pete's sake! I guess that is kind of blasphemous. He's such afucking jerk. I can't wait to shove him into a retirement home. Is that stewardess- I mean flightattendant looking at me? Is she smiling? Somebody probably told herwho I am. She's probably just being polite. Girls don't listen tometal. Except slutty girls. Man, girls are so gross. How do they walkaround with that gross... leaking... blech! Mom's right about dad; he just hatesthat he was wrong about my career. “You'll never go anywherescreamin' at the top of your lungs like a girl! You should take up areal job, like tile!” I sure showed him! Four-octaves showed him!HA! I wish I could have seen his face the first time we wentplatinum. Nothing's ever good enough for him. Even buying them ahouse didn't help, although i really just did that for mom. Well- andalso so I didn't have to sleep in my stupid old high school room. Oron the couch. Or in a hotel. I know what I'll do. If dad juststarts in with his anti-gay shit, I'll sing a really high note and really belt it out and hold it! Then I'll just tell everyone I waspracticing or showing off or something. They'll probably all applaud!That'll shut him up. Mom's always proud of my singing. If she hadn'tsigned me up for choir in middle school, who knows where I'd be? I'dprobably be at Dad's tile business. I'd be a floor manager orsomething. For tile. That would be horrible. Ok, that guy's tiltinghis sunglasses down and looking at me. Is he winking? Wow. What adouche-bag. I should flip him off. That would be so metal. I reallyshould. Right now. I should just flip him off. And glare at him. Andmaybe stick my tongue out. I'm glad I'm only staying in town forthree days. Oh good, we're landing.