When do we usually think about GOD? When do we usually scream "GOD"? Is it when we're happy? Do we mention GOD when we won an award in the first place? Do we mention GOD when we got our first kiss? Do we mention GOD when we have graduated? Do we think about GOD when we won a pitch of a big project?
I've been wondering about all these stuffs while I'm listening to Regina Spektor's Laughing With. A song with irony on how human behave with GOD. We do pray, because we want something (I am one of them), I looked back and see how many times I've been doing that. I pray because I want GOD to do something in my life, I pray because I'm scared, I pray because I feel helpless. I barely showed my gratitude to GOD in a way that I asked too much form HIM yet I barely do anything when it comes to the situation in which I feel comfortable. In my comfort, I forgot about him.
The song really slapped me in the face. I switched to Youtube, saw some videos of victims of natural disasters in which I found one phrase, "In nature, we found out that GOD is might.". I feel sad, burdened by the facts that I am, human, in which had acknowledged GOD as the almighty, but I only found HIM in such miserable conditions, in hunger, in war, in sadness, in sorrow, in anger (well, I do blame GOD sometimes, my favorite phrase is WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME, I DON'T DESERVE THIS).
These two artworks are the negative perspective of GOD, I found GOD everytime i feel that I need a scapegoat for the shit that happened, I found GOD when I realized that I'm too helpless t avoid the cause of things that I've done. I feel bad, and in my spiritual journey, I tried to re-invent HIM in my life again.