At a basic level we seem to be working according to a defined plan almost recreating it–or so we think. At a human level we are always striving for a place that is perfect which can be a mental state, a physical place or even a memory that keeps poking at us. We look for our first experience in every experience, this act of recreating the event as a feeling is about nostalgia. The idea of nostalgia, a place that is perfect in your mind a moment that can never be recreated hence is living in your memory is a very intimate idea that is unique to you. A constant whisper in you ear as remembrance, it is unique to being human, albeit animals must have some form of recollection but they also have a basic animalistic need that drives them. We might not have entirely evolved out of that but we have changed to several degrees and now being human calls for many more feelings acting upon us.
The idea of the intimate has been of special interest to me both the need and the lack of it. We reach out to grab onto something in the dark hoping we get what we want, it is this hope that drives us forward in the quest. We strive for a glimmer of intimacy, with the other or perhaps even with ourselves that one moment of peace where you know you are not alone. For some a mother's hug can never be recreated, for others a first kiss. You can have hundreds of friends but the idea of a 'best friend' means that one person is unique and falls upon your defined ideals–perhaps your first friend. One might not remember their absolute first friend but the feeling that you get from being with a loved one can never be recreated with someone else, it sticks with you, hence when you feel it slipping you move on to the attempt of recreating it in another almost filling a gap. A constant connect and disconnect leaving us almost forever in a mode of satisfying ourselves.
It's about a very intimate relationship with yourself. We all know what we are and what demons we hide inside of us, our inner self whispering in our ear. This longing, a need to have the other is so strong it could turn mountains to steam with the warmth one may collect from their special ones. A mother, brother, father, lover, it doesn’t matter who they are. We are human and as humans we require someone to fill the gap. Even if it be ourselves in solitude.