Copyright (cc) 2009 LilyGiirl Productions LLC

In 1997 hand written letters were still relevant personal and revealing, they can be love letters or Dear John letters.  A letter to a pen pal in a far away country, or a thank you letter to a friend next door.  Even something as simple as a note to say hello. But the letters I found in this ordinary, black plastic trash bag, ready to be thrown into a dumpster, were like no other letters I’ve ever seen or read….. full of regret and desperation and pleading.  Anguish over the loss of someone they’d never met, a life without meaning now. A future without hope and a hole that would never be filled.  They were letters from fans, ordinary people, who wrote to express their pain over the death of Kurt Cobain. When I found the letters, I knew they could not just be thrown away. Some were opened and appeared to have been removed and read.  So I read them too, and in doing that, the letters took on a life of their own, personalities of their writers, living, hurting, filled with emotion. There was only one thing to do: they had to be saved, and in doing that I was also saving the people who wrote them. Many of the letters were unopened and to this day, remain that way.  They were mine to save, but for some reason, not mine to open.

2009 Over the years, we moved, and the letters moved with us. Out of the trash bags and into boxes, years later moved into the file cabinet in our basement. The file cabinet was also destined for the dump in its lifetime, rescued out of an old office, and in a way it felt like the letters finally had found a good home.  But eventually it was still not enough.  In reading some of them over the years, I found a common story of people looking for understanding and significance.

 

Back in 1994 Kurt Cobain was a part of so many young people’s lives. Cobain’s death was almost more powerful and life changing than the music genre he helped create. None of these people knew each other but it is amazing how connected they all were. I found myself constantly reflecting on the letters and the writers…. where are they now?   Did they ever heal? Do they still feel alone? Do they know they were connected, that they weren’t the only one feeling this way?

These letters are a distinct snapshot of very important time in pop culture; Right before the internet blew up there was a another world,,, the letters are very telling, intense, and honest.  It was a time that many experienced, but not quite in this way. We saw it with new eyes after reading these letters, and we feel it is important for others to see it this way too.