2. The Terrorist's Mother
A small laptop, ID, photos of her children, cell phone, recharger, money... Every time, when Patimat Magomedova leaves her home and goes to work, she takes all the valuable belongings with her. Every evening, going back home, she doesn't know if her home is still safe, or all that she will see is ruins. Her home can be blown up anytime, just like homes of other Balakhani people.
Patimat has been living in Balakhani, her native aul, all her life, and she has never gone anywhere outside Dagestan. Everyone respected Patimat, a pattern wife, mother of three children and a teacher of Dagestani peoples’ traditions at a local school. She was leading an ordinary life, always complying with traditions and principles of her nation.
Everything crushed down at the very moment in March 2010 when her daughter, Maryam Sharipova, blew herself up at Lubyanka metro station in Moscow. Lives of 44 people were cut short by that terrorist attack, and Patimat, too, has lost her “life.” She will never be an ordinary teacher, wife and mother again; she has turned into “the terrorist's mother.”
Her husband, Rasul Magomedov, a 59-year old history teacher, went missing in 2012. He went on a business trip to Makhachkala and didn't come back. Now police regularly come to the Patimat’s house, ransack it, and mock her grief, saying her husband is being kept in a secret jail.
Every time, a glimmer of hope illuminates Patimat’s sole, but a common sense tells her that Rasul is dead. People often go missing in Dagestan, and after some time their corpses are found with signs of torture on them. But Rasul's body has not been found.
Patimat's eldest son has received a political asylum in Europe; it's dangerous for him to come back to his native village for police would likely to persecute him. The younger son, Ilyas, has joined the militants just after he was arrested for an alleged robbery and tortured. Although police let him go eventually, he believed they would never let it alone. He could leave Dagestan for good, but police seized his passport, and he had no other choice than go to militants living in the mountains.
Of course, it would be wrong to say that everyone in Dagestan is innocent. But the problem is that if a person comes into the view of police, he or she will always be a suspect, or at least a suspicious person. Presumption of innocence doesn't work there, just like it doesn’t work at war.
Patimat lives with her daughter-in-law and three little grandchildren in a spacious, empty house. They always speak in undertones there but even whisper echoes loudly around the rooms.
The house of the “terrorist's family” can be blown up in any moment – such is a new unspoken rule in Dagestan. For this reason, their relatives took everything from the house, leaving women with children to sleep on the floor.
Patimat’s life is merely the short patches between everlasting police visits that usually take place late night or early morning. Her little grandchildren understand that an armed man, who wears a uniform, dirty army boots and comes to their home and puts rude affronts upon their grandmother, is evil. But there's nothing good in the world at all. There's no one to complain to, there are no roads to go, because for all their family is “the terrorist's family.”
“What I should live for?” Patimat asks. “Inside, I'm already dead.” She looks at her home with an empty, dry-eyed look. She doesn't know whether it still be there when she comes back home.