It’s 3:30 am. I just finished watching ‘Love’, by Gasper Noe. And I want to talk so much about it to you, with you only. How a man can mix sex with sensitivity! Yes, in love there’s always sex, of course. But this man, how does he show it to the whole world without making the film just all about sex. Are you getting my point? The love in the film didn’t last. Of course a love like that never lasts. Actually at this point of my life, I think, no love actually lasts, like you say, it’s all about alignment, whose soul and every other thing are aligning with you. But I still want to believe in love. Fall in love and stay there like a cocoon in the shell. I want to say ‘I love you’ and mean it from the very bottom of my heart. I want to feel it in my bones. And, I want the same in return. I want to live my life with someone who feels like this.

Do you think, these creative people, the artists, directors, whoever is making art, do they take pieces from their lives in order to make a perfect cooking? Though, I believe in art there should not be any perfections. Perfect/ perfections kind of feel mechanical. Art should be free. One should feel art, not put some words to criticize it. In the movie, they were just ‘perfect’ for each other. Maybe that is why they did not work? I don’t know. Well, people repeats their mistakes until they are so lost and lonely that even their own memory keeps haunting them. There is always one person who loves, falls deeply in love more than the other, no? Stiillll still, I want to be in love. Like in the movie there was this conversation: “Hey, what’s the meaning of life?” and the girl answered “love”. Though, though, she was a bit ago saying that being in love is the saddest thing or something like that. Quiet interestingly, she stayed in love, disappeared for love. I am not saying that Murphy was not in love with Elektra. But he fucked up big times. Many times. He was scared. Feared the feeling love. Well, it is the Murphy’s Law: IF ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG, IT WILL. This is inevitable.

 Oh, how I wish you were here and at four in the morning we could talk about this.