Naturally, we will run into people whose personalities or lifestyles aren’t compatible with ours. But, the way we react to incompatibility shapes how a person is perceived. Reacting with direct negativity toward someone else is bullying, which effects almost 50% of teenagers in America. Though this kind of behavior is expected to disappear with age, some people tend to carry ‘mean girl’ traits well after grade school and into their adulthood. Dealing with ‘bullies’ or ‘mean girls’ through positivity, rather than negativity, can help you resolve conflict, and may even help the bully change their attitude. The recent online feud between celebrities Selena Gomez, Kylie Jenner and Hailey Bieber shows us that bullying still exists even in adulthood. Keep reading to learn more about what the Selena and Hailey feud teaches us about friendship.

Though Selena Gomez, former Disney Star, and Hailey (Baldwin) Bieber, wife of singer Justin Bieber, never developed a true friendship, the two remained friendly with each other as they shared one commonality– Justin Bieber. Gomez was the previous girlfriend of Bieber from 2011-2012, which the couple was known as the “teenage dream.” However, Hailey entered the photo in 2014 and created a love triangle between herself, Gomez, and Bieber. The on-and-off relationships between Gomez and Bieber and Hailey and Bieber ended in 2018 when Bieber married Hailey. Throughout the years there was speculation of hate circulating between Selena and Hailey, but the two denied those accusations by posting photos with each other in September of 2022 and Hailey’s positive mention of Gomez in the popular podcast, Call her Daddy.

If you haven’t seen the stories on Instagram, Tiktok or Twitter, here’s the low down: 

In January, Gomez began to receive body-shaming backlash from the internet. Around that same time, Hailey had ‘coincidentally’ posted a since-deleted TikTok with some friends to a sound that says, “I’m not saying that she deserved it, but God’s time is always right.” She denied the allegations by excusing the sound as a trend at the time.

In late February, Selena had posted a TikTok mentioning that she had laminated her eyebrows, comparable to a hair perm, “too much,” as she had the intention of styling her eyebrows like model Bella Hadid.

Later that day, influencer Kylie Jenner had posted a story on Instagram of a photo angled toward her eyebrows quoting, “this was an accident???”

Jenner posted another Instagram story that day in collaboration with Bieber’s wife, Hailey Bieber that appeared to be up close photos of each other’s eyebrows during a Facetime call, in which Hailey reposted to her own story.

Though Jenner and Hailey denied all claims of these posts being toward Selena, the public perception has already shaped the story for them. 

The difference between the responses of each person involved in this situation represents the type of friends they are to others. Both Kylie and Hailey have lost over 1 million followers on their social media platforms due to their actions. Many online have deemed the pair as “mean girls,” and are in disagreement with this behavior at their age and with their immense influence. Their response to the situation is a poor influence on their young, developing fanbases, as they demonstrate bullying as a solution to the conflict. If they can’t treat others with kindness, it only questions how they treat each other in their friendship. On the other hand, Gomez has responded with kindness and support to both Jenner and Hailey. Gomez even took the initiative to note on Jenner’s TikTok profile, “I’m a fan of Kylie,” to mitigate any suspicion of drama between the three. By responding with positivity, Gomez has not only uplifted her public image but also represents who she is as a person and how she values other people. Though ‘bullies’ and ‘mean girls’ are unavoidable, learning how to deal with conflict with those types of people through positivity can help you better perceive genuine friendship.