Recovery from anorexia and antipsychotics.
I was prescribed antipsychotics and antidepressants to get my body and mind back on track. The negligent approach of psychiatrists to examining a patient probably takes place in any country. Psychiatry as such is not difficult at all, the main thing is to put the right number of check points over certain characteristics and “here you are have the recipe.”
They gave me a prescription, I started taking the “magic” pills. The condition returned to normal within the first month, but then I was frenetically screwed. From anorexia I slid into bulimia, my body was flabby (a nightmare for people with eating disorders), my higher cognitive functions said goodbye to me. Art creation and university studying were in the very last place – not by desire, but by resource possibility. I could only eat, sleep, move a little. I existed, not lived.
When such a strong drug in such a large (incorrectly chosen) dosage is operating in your brain, then, among other things, the criticism component suffers. You cease to be able to assess the situation "objectively" and to "assess" it in principle. I was lucky, if I may say so: due to the fact that I could not meditate and create art, I began to worry about my condition. At first, I, a fool, myself abruptly stopped using them. I had a withdrawal syndrome, which scared me a lot. So I went to a psychiatrist and insisted on a plan to get off the drugs.
There's a funny thing here that reminds me a bit of the pharmaceutical conspiracy story. My psychotherapist said that if I have a withdrawal syndrome, it means that I need to continue taking the drug. Fortunately, I had enough confidence in my decision, so I wrote off his words. A day or two later, I realized the absurdity of what was said – the withdrawal syndrome is not about the fact that I need to continue, but about the fact that the drug is no longer in the body ....
When the substance was completely out of the body, I began to revive again. I began to dance, create, feel and ... feel alive.
2019|2022
